Not that it is my business but are you still married to your husband?
We are. Going on 25 years. It’s been several years of hard work. There was an addiction which led to his fall (meeting ‘someone’ at a 12 step program). There’s a lot to the story. It hasn’t been easy, I can’t say I have 100% forgiven him because I have to know that his efforts at recovery and changing are ongoing. After years of dealing with an addiction (gambling) you pretty much learn that promises and words are empty, and it’s actions that you go on. He has 2 years of ‘sobriety’, and I support him in his efforts but they must be his efforts. Not mine.
He’s changed a lot. He repeatedly said, it was nothing I did, I was a good wife, a wonderful mother and I didn’t deserve any of it. And that there was nothing he felt I needed to ‘change’ to make things work. I’ve changed though, some for the better, because I’m not inclined to go through any of the BS again, ever. Not even once. I said I would stay and *try* but I wasn’t making any promises about being here forever. He had to show ME he wanted me to.
And so here we are. I know it’s more than you asked but I tend to ramble late at night. But I never hit him, even though I wanted to badly, after dealing with years of his...crap...and then being hit with what happened. It would have been very easy, if my general temperament was different.