About 25 years ago, there was a letter to Ann Landers or Dear Abby, from a women who had been in a coma. Her kids gathered around and bickered about the estate, and said lots of uncomplimentary things about her, to boot. She said, “It was fascinating.” When she woke up, she cut them all out of her will—gave everything to charity.
Even at a funeral, you should act as if the deceased could hear every word. If they can, you score big Karma points. If they can’t, you have sacrificed nothing by avoiding all the gossip and small talk.