What happens with anyone’s spouse on the job is between the spouse and the job. My wife spent many years seeing how interactions at my workplace affected me. Now it’s my turn to walk in her shoes. But the larger and more important truth in all this is that spousal intervention in the workplace is one big ‘NO NO’. It’s a career killer. You may not like how a boss (or an employee) treats your spouse. You may feel she’s wrongly treated, accused, manipulated. And, you may be right. But it’s not your place to become involved.
Someday, such intervention will come back to haunt you. Believe me, I’ve seen it happen. Once the spouse interferes, the employee loses all respect and consideration. You, the outsider, have just ruined their career. Think long and hard about that.
And that’s the insufferable part of this conversation. Being a loyal and loving spouse does not mean one has the right to interfere whenever a spouse is wronged. It means knowing when to stay out of the fray. And the workplace is one area where we aren’t welcomed.
“What happens with anyone’s spouse on the job is between the spouse and the job.”
Right, so if her boss hits her I have no right to complain? I can understand your perspective, but I have seen some horrible bosses. You underestimate what folks can do to their employees. It’s my responsibility to love and care for her, and if I’m negligent in my responsibilities, then that is on me. No employer has the right to abuse anyone, least of all my spouse.
I have intervened in the past with a particularly egregarious employer, whom we ended up suing. No regrets. No job is worth abuse, and I’d rather be her husband and have her love than I care about what some scumbag boss thinks of her.
“Someday, such intervention will come back to haunt you.”
Pardon me sir, what business do you manage? I’m curious, because I’d like to avoid you and any business that you manage. I don’t like your attitude, and that you would terminate an employee who stands up to you, says it all for me.
“You, the outsider, have just ruined their career. Think long and hard about that.”
I’m her husband. Frankly an employer who thinks I am an ‘outsider’, has the wrong perspective. As far as I’m concerned I have an obligation to respect all of my employees. If a husband were to come in and speak with me, I would completely understand his concern, and I would hear him out. A spouse is never an outsider.
“And the workplace is one area where we aren’t welcomed.”
Employers have an obligation to respect their employees. If an employer fails then it’s part of my job description to go and speak with them. If I’m not satisfied, don’t be surprised if she finds another job.
I would rather she work in a job where she is respected and loved for her talents. The difference is night and day. Failing that, I’d have her at home. She is a blessing, and I want her to feel that every day.