[netmilsmom]

If he had explosive diarrhea, how could he “clean himself” with his undies? Wouldn’t they be the first thing to be soiled?

[WOBBLY BOB]

you should be lead detective.

[I Buried My Guns]

No. emergency man protocol dictates that in a stuation as severe as this, you do your explosive diarrhea and use your underwear as TP. If you fold it right, you can get 4 good wipes before the underwear must be jettisioned.

This happened to me last month while visting Hawaii. We were driving back from the far side of the island after eating a rich dinner/dessert. I absolutely had to go (lactose intolerance maybe?), and there were no services for miles.

Long story short, I tried to hide in a sugarcane field, and used the technique illustrated above. It worked. Got 4 good wipes, which was good enough to get us back to the B&B. I thought I had hid myself pretty good until I got back to the car, and my wife had a horrified look on her face; she saw it all. Her comment to all my friends after the fact was "I guess now I know where BROWN sugar comes from!"

[stuartcr]

At least his soiled clothing will provide evidence that he did have that problem.