The best all around handgun for self defense for carry or in the house for a petite woman is a hammerless snub-nosed .38. If you want even less kick purchase a snub-nosed .357 and load it with .38s.
(1) It is easy to load and unload.
(2) There is no slide to chamber a round
(3) There is no chance of jambing
(4) If a round does not go off when you squeeze the trigger, pull the trigger again
(5) There is no hammer to catch on the purse or pocket when you have to draw it in a panic.
(6) It is always double action so there is no easy trigger pull to cause an accident.
(7) .38 is cheap to practice with
(8) Revolvers are less maintenance and more reliable with fewer moving parts.
(9) It is a cost effective firearm compared to a semi-auto (most cases)
(10) Always very easy to conceal.
It is certainly not a sexy weapon, but it is my and my wife's primary carry weapon. We have .357s. She loads with .38 and I load with .357.
Practice safety and practice often. Good Luck and welcome to the club.
Beat me to it. I like a .38 snub-nose. I also have a 22 magnum 5-shot mini revolver.