No seriously what you should do is put your keyboard in the bath dub to soak for a while, then put it in the microwave. Don’t worry, the sparks wont hurt. Then give it to a Gypsie family and let it see the world for a while. When they bring it back (which they will, by the way), bury it underground with some cabbage. Well I’m sure about that, but it makes cabbage taste good. Anyway, plug it in in about a year and see if that works.
And if that doesn’t work I’m sure the reason is that you didn’t bury it underground long enough, or you at the cabbage too soon. So try again.
I did that but it smelled of garlic when I got it back, plus whenever I hit the escape key I get an erection.