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1) Ralph Nader chair "Yes, that's right. Ralph Nader, perennial Green Party candidate for the U.S. presidency MAY have sat in this very chair! It was used in his Washington, DC campaign headquarters until I purchased it on Craiglist several months ago. It has a nice red, commie upholstery and a sleek black plastic backing. The wheels don't function well, but that is a small price to pay for state control of the means of production."

3) Seeking adult drunk clown for 30th birthday party "We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a shit load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn't even need to socialize with anyone, just drink."

4) Duck mask "Full head rubber mask, old, has discoloration on white feather part from age, storage. Hey I got it on my big head, so it works that way."

5) Woman to sit in my bath tub full of noodles, wearing a bathing suit "I will pay you $1 to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit. I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this. I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure. DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner."

7) I have a huge bathroom "I am a female in my mid 60's and I am looking for a room mate. Times are tight and I need some extra money. I am willing to rent out my bathroom in my 1 bedroom east village home. My bathroom is large. You can easily put a twin air mattress in there. I only ask that when I need to use the bathroom, you or your air mattress are not in it. I do ask that when you are in the apartment, you confine yourself to the bathroom. I do not feel comfortable with a stranger walking around my living room. This might change as I get to know you better."

10) Free couch, if you can bend time and/or space "I have a free couch for anyone who can get it back out of my room. It's a comfy couch, cool stripe velvet in great shape, impossibly uncomfortable sleeper, but otherwise easily worth $50-75 bucks in Craigslist land. So why am I listing in for free? Because I am pretty sure it is physically impossible to remove this thing from my second story bedroom down the narrow hallway, down the narrower staircase and out the front door of my little Victorian duplex."

11) I took your purse and felt a connection "Tuesday night around 11:30. On 53rd btw 1st and 2nd. You came out of the subway and I followed you. You looked over your shoulder, saw me and started walking faster. I ran up, grabbed your arm, took your purse and ran away. I've done many a snatch-and-grab but no one has ever stuck in my mind like you. There was a quick moment when our eyes met that I felt something strong. I think you felt it too. If I wasn't so shy (or so committing a crime) I would have asked your name. I, of course, later got your name from your drivers license. So Jennifer if you'd like to get together for a drink sometime get back to me."

12) Looking for bridesmaids "So, my fiancee and I are getting married in June. He has 8 groomsmen lined up and I only have one bridesmaid. So, I need some girls who are attractive and around my age to stand up in my wedding. You can be single or taken. It doesn't matter....you just have to be hot. But, not hotter then me. Email me for more information. The wedding will be in Madison and you won't have to pay for a thing."

13) Do you have a small, incontinent dog? "Or perhaps you work for a small dog rescue of some sort. Either way, I have a package of small doggy diapers. I don't want to throw them out coz they are pretty expensive. (as someone with a small, incontnent dog would already know). Please don't try to put them on a cat. It won't work. Trust me."

1 posted on 09/12/2009 2:08:53 PM PDT by JoeProBono
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To: All

2 posted on 09/12/2009 2:10:42 PM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet)
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To: JoeProBono

We are doomed.


3 posted on 09/12/2009 2:10:55 PM PDT by mad_as_he$$ (Nemo me impune lacessit The law will be followed, dammit!)
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To: JoeProBono

I considered replying to the clown ad.


7 posted on 09/12/2009 2:39:38 PM PDT by Ueriah
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To: JoeProBono

There are quite a few fruits and nuts on CL. I must say though, that in the last year I have bought enough stuff off of CL to choke a cow. Everything from vehicles and motorized equipment to wood stoves and other essentials can be had, and at good prices, too.

On the other hand, there are sections of CL that I avoid at all costs. I’m pretty sure anybody that has visited their local CL can probably give a pretty fast rundown of such sections.


9 posted on 09/12/2009 3:05:48 PM PDT by BattleHymn
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To: JoeProBono
12) Looking for bridesmaids

"So, my fiancee and I are getting married in June. He has 8 groomsmen lined up and I only have one bridesmaid. So, I need some girls who are attractive and around my age to stand up in my wedding. You can be single or taken. It doesn't matter....you just have to be hot. But, not hotter then me. Email me for more information. The wedding will be in Madison and you won't have to pay for a thing."

This breaks the rules of bridesmaids/groomsmen. The bride picks how many bridesmaids she wants and then the groom has to Shanghai that many of his friends/relatives to be groomsmen. No guy really wants to be a groomsman with having to pay for the monkey suit. The only possible advantage is hooking up with one of the bridesmaids.

11 posted on 09/12/2009 5:02:47 PM PDT by KarlInOhio ("I can run wild for six months ...after that, I have no expectation of success" - Admiral Obama-moto)
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To: JoeProBono
17) Ferocious attack kitten

"This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you. Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear - however he will bite your face if you try to touch it. For the love of God, someone please take this thing out of my house."

FR could always use another Viking Kitty. Just sayin'.

13 posted on 09/12/2009 10:08:44 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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