What made your dad so awful, in your eyes ?
Hmmmm. Being a sociopath? Beating me for no reason? Beating my mother. Being a racist. Alcoholic. I have a long list of reasons. The last words my dad ever said to me were 'F--- you!' That was hmmmm.... Almost 20 years ago. Haven't heard from him since.
Is that ok for you or do you want more? I got more but at the end of the day, maybe you ought to just take my word for it.
Sociopathy runs in my family. My dad was scary. Absolutely cold. I don't think he actually cared about anyone and considered most people a nuisance and hindrance.
My dad is a craftsman. Truly skilled at what he does. But, and this is his own admission, he doesn't care about anyone. He's a sociopath. I don't think he's ever cried. His mother never saw him cry. He didn't even cry as a baby. I've seen him laugh but the things he laughs at would make the average person shudder I think. His idea of a good evening would be to sit in a dark living room in a chair for hours on end- and not say a word or move a muscle. Who knows what was going through his mind? 'Do I kill them or just walk out?' He walked out in the end. Good move.
There are some messed up people out there in the world. I know a lot of people have a hard time accepting that but it's true.
I don't care about anybody either. As far as that goes, I'm probably a sociopath too. I don't consider that a bad or a good thing. All I know is if I could make all of you go away, I would. I've known some interesting people in my time, but at the end of the day, I find everybody pretty annoying and would delete the 'interesting' ones as well as the not so interesting ones. I find it interesting that people say they want to be told the truth but when you tell them you're just pretending to like them it upsets them. If you treat them the way you truthfully feel about them, it upsets them even more. I can't win. Better to just fake the funk. It keeps everybody happy. Besides, you've got me outnumbered.
But I do try to stay on the right side of the law- for the most part.
You’re dad is not a God fearing conservative. Genuine conservatives are warm hearted and generous to a flaw. ALcohol is fine but drinking to avoid life isn’t what a conservative does.
What I find troubling is that you don’t think much of your dad and then describe yourself in the same way.
Your FR webpage further explained your dilema:
http://www.freerepublic.com/~prodigalson/
Soy Estadosunidense. (why does Spanish have a way to say ‘I am from the United States’ but English does not? We can only say ‘I am American’.)
Physically located in Edinburgh, Scotland. Where I have lived for a number of years.
Some important things to note about me:
I do not watch television. I threw mine out 18 years ago and never got another one. It is one of the most important things I ever did. I never get worked up about this MSM thing I keep hearing people talk about. I have only heard President Obama’s speaking voice once in my life. I only ever heard Bush’s a few times (and all of this was on the internet). I don’t care about Katie Couric. She is not part of my life. Nor American Idol. Nor commercials. etc etc.
I was an Eleven Charlie for eight years. I finished my time in the Army as a Blue Spader. You’ll get it if you are/were an infantry guy.
I am not looking for friends. I usually show up on the forum because I want to fight although I am willing to be civil when the mood strikes or suits me.
I care about chocolate. Really good chocolate. I am a chocolate snob. Hershey’s and Cadbury’s will not do.
I care about good coffee- preferably Lavazza.
I care about Tiramisu.
I do not drink alcohol. At all.
I recently quit smoking and I blame every single one of you for the cranky way I feel right now.
I am single. Male. Early 40s. In very good physical condition.
I have been married 2x and also 2 common law wives.
I have lived in 9 countries and have lived in Europe almost half my life. Not that this is a dating site (-: but I find it helps to explain these things in advance or I am forever explaining them on the forum. I like to travel. I like living in different cultures. I am not a conformist. Group pressure does not have any effect on me other than to make me more stubborn.
I like living in Edinburgh because it is chock full of foreigners and I’m just one more face in the crowd here. I find the Scots to be puzzling people but they’re likeable enough.
I do not hate the French nor the Germans.
I care about beautiful writing. Everybody will have their own opinion about what constitutes beautiful writing.
Cormac McCarthy. A brief comment about his books:
No Country for Old Men. Sparse, blood and bones writing. Works extremely well and would be a good lesson for anyone wanting to write a gripping tale. His characters come alive in the things they say and the things they do. Very little description otherwise. Just action, action, action.
The Road. Meant to be read in one sitting. If done so, the emotional pace of the book is amazing. It just rises up at the end and slays you, leaves you choking. A must read in that respect. But, having said that, on re-reading, you then realise it is a bit gimmicky somehow because McCarthy means to play you emotionally. It’s almost as if he is demonstrating how it can be done but in the showing, it cannot be done twice. The way he references the trout is sublime though and I admire it immensely. I can’t quite put my finger on how and why it works but it does.
The Border Trilogy. I loved these. They are the meat of his work. Not his best stuff, not his worst. Simply very well written, very enjoyable tales with tragic and tortured characters struggling within chaotic and unseen parameters in Mexico and the American Southwest.
Blood Meridian. Perhaps his best book. You will get argument about that I suppose. But there is something terrible and awe-inspiring in this tale. It is one of the most violent stories I have ever read. There are some passages, long paragraphs with no punctuation- just raw description and you realise, it has to be that way. The man is describing an apocolyptic vision of death in the form of men on horseback and it simply cannot be stopped. Not by comma, not by a dot. It’s just got to ride down on you, hooves and dust.
The Outer Dark. This is just a creepy story, and very funny for some reason. But a well written one. It devolves into the bizarre at the end.
Child of God. Sad.
Suttree. In my opinion, this is his best writing. Maybe not his best book but it is his most elaborate prose. It is the opposite end of the spectrum from No Country for Old Men. Perhaps because Suttree is somewhat autobiographical in nature McCarthy just lets himself go. Some of the passages in this book are just pure poetry. I like this kind of writing. I like a good story but I love to read the prose of someone who is gifted even more. I will read it just for the beauty, the story is secondary at that point to me. But very few writers are that good. McCarthy is one of them. And I think all in all, if you read Suttree, it makes you realise how astonishingly good No Country and The Road are because they are NOT written in that flourish with which he is demonstrably capable.
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I also love Joseph Conrad. Not so much for his prose as his dark, subliminal themes. My favorite is probably Nostromo but outside his celebrated novels I really like ‘The Rescue’. It seems he had Plato’s Cave on his mind when he wrote that one and I simply loved seeing how many metaphors and how much symbolism he had built into the story and its characters.
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More later....
The genuine conservatives at FR are decent people.
Stick around and get to know them. It could be a life changing experience. Most people here are good people.
If there is any way I can help you, let me know ... sorry about not being able to help you with html and margins. You might want to try this link for that:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2024261/posts
It might have what you are looking for.
If what you are looking for isn’t there, try a search on keyword, “html” (without the quotes). I hope this helps.
Take care.