Joke without a dirty word in it
It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one:
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods.
A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch,
‘Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?’
The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, ‘Woodpecker, you are a tree expert.
Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?’
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, ‘It is neither
a son of a beech nor a son of a birch.
It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.’
Now wipe that smile off your face
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, “Esther, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.” Esther always replied, ‘I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars’.
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, “Esther, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.” To this, Esther replied, “Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.”
The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won’t charge you! But if you say one word, it’s fifty dollars.”
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, “By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I’m impressed!”
Morris replied, “Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!