Resigned: Lucy with David on their wedding day
She could adopt a baby.
I agree. I got a nursing, master’s and law degree before children. Everyone kept telling me I had “plenty of time.”
Those were just pretty lies. Time does run out.
Thankfully, I was still able to adopt.
Now, I tell my own kids not to wait too long.
Start respecting life and you won't have that problem.
Maybe she shouldn’t have kids at all.
Those who disdain child rearing are in that category...
Societies which honor, protect and nurture their children and provide stable structures for families survive.
Those that don't....don't.
It’s all about me.
This could definitely set to music. Reads like lyrics.
bttt
Wife and I almost missed the boat. in 2005, After 15yrs of marriage (she was 39 and I was 43) she finally got pregnant. All it took was $40K for In-Vitro and we have a perfect little girl. But after age 40, the chances of having another one drop by about 80% or so. We got lucky.
I’ll tell my little girl not to wait to long also.
So, hubby isn't really interested in nurturing a child, watching him/her grow day by day, and being there for all the heartaches and joys that life brings. No, he insists that he loves this woman so much that he can only love a child that has her genetic map. He sounds about as selfish as a human being can be.
Were my husband to take such a position, not only would I not consider adoption, I'd be thinking about what an ass I was to marry him in the first place.
The women’s movement has sold women a bill of goods.
All of life revolves around the family — or it should. But the idea of “providing” for a family has morphed into the idea of “career,” wherein the means to an end has become the end in itself. People have lost focus as to what really matters.
The idea of motherhood has been denigrated. Women have been taught to disdain the very activities which we are biologically — and yes, spiritually — wired to do. The activities which ultimately bring us the most joy.
The notion of sexual morality — designed to protect children from being born into situations without a mother to nurture and a father to provide — has been undermined. In the name of “equality,” young women are now being conditioned to behave like the fantasies of the most selfish, irresponsible men. They make themselves available without any commitment or even love. If they conceive, they kill the child, or go off to raise it on their own, patting themselves on the back for their independence.
I went to law school after putting my sixth child in kindergarten. I now have 19 grandchildren. My job has been rewarding in every way that a job can be rewarding. But it can’t begin to give my life meaning the way my children and grandchildren do.
I’m sorry that this poor woman bought into the lie.
Infertility, IMHO, is the silent epidemic no one is talking about. At least half of the women I know have dealt with or are currently dealing with infertility issues. More and more men are also dealing with low sperm numbers. I swear its 'Children of Men' coming true...
1954 at the age of 47 my grandmother gave birth to her 5th child. No purchased eggs were involved.
It sounds beyond naive.. You started dating your husband at 41... you STARTED dating at the tail end of natural fertility for most women, and then waited 4 more years to marry and think about kids. I empathize with you and pity women like you who were sold the false bill of goods about "having it all" by a feminist dogma of anger.
Here's the reality, you can't have it all, you will have to compromise in your life. If you put your career first and decide to wait to start a family, guess what, you may wake up one day to find its too late. Like it or not, fertility peaks on average in women at age 24, that's cold hard truth.
Here's the reality, this is true of men and women, if you put your career first, your family will pay the price.. if you put your family first, you won't get as far in your career as quickly as others who don't. That's the trade off.
I'm a guy, I put my family first, I know I could be making more money, lots more money, not that I make bad money, but I could be making lots more. Of course this would require me to travel which I refuse to do with children at home, at least as a majority of my job. This decision has slowed my career and income, but it also means that the number of nights my kids sleep under a roof that I don't due to work is no more than a handful a year or less. Sometimes its frustrating, knowing I'm intentionally throttling my career and that I could definately be doing things I personally would likely enjoy better than the job I do that keeps me close to home.. but this job keeps me close to home, in a city that I can raise my kids with moral values and not be surrounded by ammorrality or immorality.
Whenever, those what ifs pop up in my head, they never last long, and I put my head on my pillow and sleep well at night, and my youngest climbs in my bed to wake me up the next morning (like her siblings did at her age) I know that I'm making the right choice.
Now I know kids are not for everyone, and I would never tell women that they could not live a fulfilled life without a husband and children. However, I know more than a few women who are now past their fertility and did put career first and regret never having children. Its not something you get to mulligan. If a family is something you have wanted, you can't put career first.. time will get away from you.
Young women in their early twenties have been used for studies related to egg quality. I come by these facts from the source. The doctors involved in the study were shocked to find that up to 40% of many young women’s eggs were aneuploid, meaning they had major chromosomal abnormalities.
We all knew that egg quality diminishes with age, and that a woman’s eggs are about 70% shot by age 40. What surprised the experienced reproductive endocrinologists and embryologists when they perfected the test to determine if ALL the egg’s or embryo’s chromosomes were normal was how low the percentage of healthy eggs were in the youngest women of maternal age.
Sperm, especially of young men, is almost always of good quality, is replenishable, and self-sorts: only the good ones get in to those eggs.
So one looks at EGG QUALITY primarily to predict embryo quality. An aneuploid embryo will rarely make a baby (with a disability). Most times, it is incompatible with the 2nd trimester of pregnancy. Meaning that the woman will not become pregnant, or will become pregnant and have an early (first trimester) miscarriage.
Many couples do turn to adoption, donor eggs, and donor embryos, in order to become a family. There are costs and hurdles involved, but many, many joyful families have been freed from the agony of infertility.
Personally, I believe that since in nature it is always the reproductive parts of the soft bodied creatures (fish, frogs) that are first affected by polluted waters, that we humans are also affected by the chemicals and hormones in our environments and food sources.
Please care about what is around you and what you choose to feed your children, especially if you wish them to be able to have children.
Yeah, don’t wait, like we ALL could find a man who’ll make a suitable husband and father when we’re in our 20’s... or does this mean we should just go ahead have anyone’s kids then find a man to marry later?
Sorry if I sound a bit cynical, but since some women decide to wait for marriage before having sex, having children ‘early enough’ simply isn’t an option for everyone.