a 2-3 year old Compaq is a boat anchor? It works well, not sure how it is considered a boat anchor.
A laptop whose battery won't hold a charge is a boat anchor, according to you. Or does that only apply if it's from Apple?
You claimed the Apple is a boat anchor if it has a non-functioning battery. You then said your Compaq has a non-functioning battery.
Let's go through this mathematically:
A=boat anchor
B=computer with non-functioning battery
IF
A=B and Compaq=B
THEN
Compaq=A