Rare fish 'proves water quality'

bbc ^

[JoeProBono]

The discovery of a rare blood-sucking fish in the River Wear is proof of high water quality, conservationists said. Seven adult sea lampreys, which have toothed, funnel-like sucking mouths, have been found in the river near Chester-le-Street, County Durham. Only three species of lampreys remain in Britain, and they are protected under European law. The Environment Agency said the creatures only breed in water which is very clean. So far the agency has identified twelve spawning sites, known as redds. Fisheries officer Paul Frear said: "We were thrilled to discover lampreys back in the River Wear, as these rare blood-suckers show us that the water quality in the river is very high. "Lampreys are extremely selective with their spawning sites and will only nest where the water quality is optimal."

[JoeProBono]

Lampreys are extremely selective with their spawning sites

[RepublitarianRoger2]

Jump in! The water’s fine!

[hinckley buzzard]

Guess clean water is a mixed blessing in England. Lampreys--no thanks. They wiped out the white bass population in Lake Erie in the fifties, but we got even...no more lampreys there any more.

[EGPWS]

They are in Lake Superior now...

[MAD-AS-HELL]

Joe, is that you with the lamprey on your forehead?

Talkin bout lamprey, Andrew Zimmern of Bizarre foods went to Russia where they eat pickled lamprey. This guy love the most bizarre foods but even he hated lamprey. That’s saying something.

[JoeProBono]

[JoeProBono]

[JoeProBono]

[null and void]

Good to know that Guadeloupe Creek is clean...

[GladesGuru]

Trout and salmon fishermen are underwhelmed with this finding.

[hellbender]

Get that lamprey off my head quick, before it sucks out my brains and turns me into an 0bama voter!

[martin_fierro]

Mrs. F's people used to fish for eels back in the day in Limerick, Ireland.

[Redcloak]

We have some Potomac River Blood Suckers we could give them to replenish their supply, if they wish.

[JoeProBono]

[Daffynition]

[Watch for a moment] .....

The Lamprey Song

---

There must be some sort of an answer
That I just can't seem to find,
As to why I have all these damned lampreys
Dancing around in my mind.
I wish that I'd never seen one,
I wish that I'd simply gone blind,
'Cause I'd much rather get rectal cancer,
Than have lampreys hang on my behind...

Chorus:

Lampreys, lampreys, lampreys.
What e're in the world can we do?
I saw you last night with a lamprey,
And that was the end of you.

It was sometime in early September,
When lampreys first came here in force.
I can clearly and starkly remember
How they blew up the neighbor's red Porsche.
I saw all this out of my window,
I quickly dialed for the police.
But I reached but a lamprey pretender,
Those lampreys killed with no remorse...

Chorus.

When lampreys jumped into the parlor,
I quickly knew something was wrong.
I hit them with my youthful ardor,
But those lampreys were just too damned strong.
The cat--it was hurled in the garbage,
And I was flung onto the couch.
As I looked on in sheer helpless horror,
One said, "this house don't belong!"

Chorus.

The lampreys began to destroy it,
This house--from ceiling to floor.
I knew that I'd soon be in deep shit,
So I carefully inched out the door.
I started to run for the Army,
But suddenly couldn't run anymore.
The sight of you chatting with lampreys,
Was something I could not ignore.

Chorus.

I knew then that you were a traitor,
Conspiring with them to kill me.
To encourage a lamprey dictator,
To destroy all of humanity.
I ran from the site in confusion,
I ran for the nearest safe house.
But the lamprey dropped down on me later,
I just hadn't seen that big tree.

Chorus:

Lampreys, lampreys, lampreys.
What e're in the world could it be?
I chatted last night with a lamprey,
And that was the end of me.

[JoeProBono]

[Daffynition]

[JoeProBono]

[Daffynition]

[JoeProBono]