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Your morning mirror routine and mantra where you try so vainly to convince yourself that you know more and are smarter than the likes of the below must be reallll hilarious to watch.

Do you sell tickets?

From:

http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread457637/pg1

“It is impossible for any man-made machine to make a sudden appearance in front of a jumbo jet that is flying 910 kilometers per hour and to remain in steady formation paralleling our aircraft. ... Honestly, we were simply breathtaken.”
Japan Airlines pilot Kenju Terauchi in 1986

“This is the first sighting in Zimbabwe where airborne pilots have tried to intercept a UFO. As far as my Air Staff is concerned, we believe implicitly that the unexplained UFOs are from civilizations beyond our planet.”
Air Commodore David Thorne, Director of General Operations for the Zimbabwe Air Force in 1985.

“The security guard called and said,Sir, there’s a glowing red object hovering right outside the front gate. I’ve got all the men out here with their weapons drawn. We lost between
16-18 ICBMs (nuclear tipped Inter Continental Ballistic Missiles) at the same time UFOs were in the area. (A high ranking Air Force officer) said,”Stop the investigation; do no more on this and do not write a final report. I heard that many of the guards that reported the incident were sent off to Vietnam.”
Captain Robert Salas, USAF, during a videotaped interview for the Disclosure program.

“It was the darndest thing I’ve ever seen. It was big, it was very bright, it changed colours, and it was about the size of the moon. We watched it for ten minutes, but none of us could figure out what it was. One thing’s for sure: I’ll never make fun of people who say they’ve seen unidentified flying objects in the sky.
Former President of the United States, Jimmy Carter following his sighting along with many others of a UFO at Leary, Georgia in October 1969.

“I have frequently been asked why a person of my background ‘a former Chief of the Defence Staff, a former Chairman of the NATO Military Committee’ why I think there is a cover-up (of) the facts about UFOs. I believe governments fear that if they did disclose those facts, people would panic. I don’t believe that at all. There is a serious possibility that we are being visited by people from outer space. It behoves us to find out who they are, where they come from, and what they want.”
Lord Admiral Hill-Norton (GCB), Chief of Defense Staff, Ministry of Defense, Britain; Chairman, Military Committee of NATO; Admiral of the Fleet; Member of House of Lords.

“It is time for the truth to be brought out in open Congressional hearings. Behind the scenes high ranking Air Force officers are soberly concerned about the UFOs. But through official secrecy and ridicule, many citizens are led to believe the unknown flying objects are nonsense.”
Admiral Hillenkoetter-the first Director of the CIA, 1947-50.
February 27, 1960.

“Headquarters wouldn’t let us go after it and we played around a little bit. We got to watching how it made 90 degree turns at this high speed and everything. We knew it wasn’t a missile of any type, so then we confirmed it with the radar control station, and they kept following it, and then it crashed somewhere off between Texas and the Mexico border.”
Colonel Robert Willingham, USAF from an Sworn Affidavit in the 1970’s when discussing a sighting of a UFO whilst he was navigating an F94 jet on September 6th 1950.

“Flying saucers are real. Too many good men have seen them, that don’t have hallucinations.”
Captain Eddie Rickenbacker. World War I air ace.

“UFOs sighted in Indonesia are identical with those sighted in other countries. Sometimes they pose a problem for our Air Defence and once we were obliged to open fire on them.”
Air Marshall Nurjadin Roesmin, Commander in Chief of the Indonesian Air Force in 1967.

“The most spectacular UFO incident in Indonesia occurred when during the height of President Sukarno’s confrontation in Malaysia, UFOs penetrated a well defended area in Java for two weeks at a stretch, and each time were welcomed with perhaps the heaviest anti-aircraft barrage in history.”
Air Commodore J. Salutun, National Aerospace Council of Indonesia, and a Member of the Indonesian Parliament in 1967.

“And don’t tell me they were reflections, I know they were solid objects.”
Lieutenant D. A Swimley, USAF in 1953 following the sighting of 8 UFOs that were confirmed on radar and witnessed numerous other people including commercial pilots and police officers.

“Something is going on in the skies that we do not understand. If all the airline pilots and Air Force pilots who have seen UFOs and sometimes chased them have been the victims of hallucinations, then an awful lot of pilots should be taken off and forbidden to fly.”
Captain Kervendal, French Gendarmerie.

“The Air Force had put out a secret order for its pilots to capture UFOs. For the last six months we have been working with a congressional committee investigating official secrecy concerning proof that UFOs are real machines under intelligent...”
Major Donald Keyhoe,during a live TV broadcast on CBS in 1958 in which he was pulled from the air when he began to deviate from the prepared format of the programme.

“It appears to be a metallic object...tremendous in size, directly ahead and slightly above.I am trying to close for a better look.”
Captain Thomas Mantell, USAF. These were his last words as he closed in on a UFO in 1948. Minutes later his plane was to crash and he was to lose his life.

“This was no ordinary UFO. Scores of people saw it. It was no illusion, no deception, no imagination.”
Air Marshall Azim Daudpota, Zimbabwe speaking about a UFO sighting over the country in 1985.

“More than 10,000 sightings have been reported, the majority of which cannot be accounted for by any scientific explanation, eg that they are hallucinations, the effects of light refraction, meteors, wheels falling from aeroplanes, and the like. They have been tracked on radar screens and the observed speeds have been as great as 9,000 mph. I am convinced that these objects do exist and they are not manufactured by any nation on earth. I can therefore see no alternative to accepting the theory that they come from an extraterrestrial source.”
Air Chief Marshall Lord Dowding, Commanding Officer of the RAF during WWII.

“I am convinced there was thought behind the thing’s manoeuvres”.
Lieutenant George Gorman, F51 pilot after being in a 30 minute dogfight with a small UFO in 1948.

“UFOs are real and they may come from outer space.”
General Kanshi Ishikawa, Chief of Air Staff, 1967.

“Air Force interceptors still pursue UFOs as a matter of national security to this country and to determine technical aspects involved.”
Major General Joe W. Kelly, 1957.

“Congressional investigations...are still being held on the problem of unidentified flying objects and the problem is one in which there is quite a bit of interest.
Since most of the material presented to the committee is classified, the hearings are never printed.”
Congressman William H. Ayres, 1958.

“Saucers exist (I saw two). They were intelligently flown or operated (evasive tactics, formation flight, hovering). They were mechanisms, not United States weapons, nor Russian. I presume they are extraterrestrial.”
Lt. Colonel Richard Headrick, radar bombing expert, 1959.

“My own present opinion, based on two years of careful study, is that UFOs are probably extraterrestrial devices engaged in something that might very tentatively be termed ‘surveillance’.
Dr James McDonald before Congress, 1968.

“These UFOs are interplanetary devices systematically observing the Earth, either manned or under remote control, or both.Information on UFOs, including sighting reports, has been and is still being officially withheld.”
Colonel Joseph J. Bryan III, founder member of the CIAs psychological warfare staff, advisor to NATO

“Before we could do anymore, the army, after conferring with (US) officials, ordered the investigation stopped.”
Dr Paul Santorini regarding UFOs seen over Greece in 1946.

“Maximum security exists concerning the subject of UFOs.”
CIA Director, Allen Dulles, 1955.

“I have discussed this matter with the effected agencies of the government, and they are of the opinion that is it not wise to publicize this matter at this time.”
Senator Richard Russell, head of the Armed Services Committee, following his sighting of a UFO during an official trip to the Soviet Union in 1955.

“Reliable reports indicate there are objects coming into our atmosphere at very high speeds and controlled by thinking intelligences.”
Navy Admiral Delmar Fahrney in a public statement during 1957.

“It is the considered opinion of some elements that the object may in fact represent an interplanetary craft of some kind.”
Brig. General George Shulgen
From a Draft Intelligence Collections Memorandum by Brig. Geneneral George Shulgen, Oct. 28, 1947