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In general, I agree, but speaking as a secondary school teacher, I have seen these things pay real dividends for some kids in terms of social contact. Kids who are a bit unusual in various ways or who have unusual interests, who can't find other kids like them or who share those interests in their own schools or communities and who do manage to find others who fit the bill online.

Yes, kids can take it too far - but in moderation a lot of these things have real positives too.

We don't do the whole summer camp thing in Australia, it's not really part of our culture, but if we did, I really wouldn't want to put kids who have managed to find friends - real friends - online in a situation where they are forced to break contact with those friends for weeks at a time.

I do have to say, though, that I'm also somewhat concerned by this statement:

So when the 17-year-old was looking for a summer camp, he ruled out a church camp with a no cell phone, no computer policy.

One of the big problems I see with a lot of kids today is that parents are giving them too much choice. I don't think even most 17-year-olds should be 'ruling out' things of this magnitude - the decision should be with the parents.

OK, maybe a camp doesn't matter that much - but I teach at one of the most expensive, prestigious schools in my country - and it astonishes me when I encounter parents who say: "We wanted to send our son there, but he refused to go." or "We gave him a choice and he chose this school."

People are giving kids way too much choice. Listen to their input, sure, and more and more as they get older - but the adults should make the actual decisions.

“I really wouldn’t want to put kids who have managed to find friends - real friends - online in a situation where they are forced to break contact with those friends for weeks at a time”

I understand your point, but at the same time those kids are going to get out into the real world in a few short years and have to find jobs where they *must* interact with people in person.

If your only communication skills post high school consist of “hlo how r u? i am fyn. wut r u doing!?” then you will either fail miserably in your first (handful) of jobs, or be perpetually viewed as an idiot. I’ve got several of these illiterate boobs in my company and they drive me batty.

We, without our her permission, enrolled our only child in private preschool to help her adapt to a socially structured environment. It gave her an opportunity to learn, socialize with others her age, and time away from the three male criminal elements, (children), that lived next-door.

She's now doing exceedingly well as a third year college student.

I have to disagree. I just can't believe that there are children that benefit from the impersonal correspondence of technology without the face-to-face interaction that society requires.

How will these children survive?

I really wouldn't want to put kids who have managed to find friends - real friends - online in a situation where they are forced to break contact with those friends for weeks at a time.

Why not? If they are "real friends" (a highly dubious premise at that), being away a couple weeks won't hurt a thing. If they are just addicted to this pseudo-contact however, they will experience discomfort akin to withdrawal. Unhealthy dependency is all that's at stake here, and a good thing to learn to do without, in my view.

“I don’t think even most 17-year-olds should be ‘ruling out’ things of this magnitude - the decision should be with the parents.”

I don’t think a 17-year-old, or the 17-year-old’s parents should be making a decision on what summer camp to attend in the first place - maybe they should be making a decision on what summer camp he’s going to work at. I started working at a summer camp around the age of 15, and continued until I was in college and circumstances and the need to take summer classes got in my way.

As far as communicating with friends, that’s a whole different issue. Most summer camps are only a week long, so they won’t be “breaking contact for weeks at a time”. Plus, at 17, if he was staff, even the church camp that I worked at allowed its staff to use cell phones, computers, etc. either in certain areas after the campers were in bed, or on the weekends when the campers weren’t around. And, although the kids technically weren’t allowed to have cell phones or iPods in practice it was at their counselor’s discretion, which usually meant a 15-minute window between the nighttime devotions and lights-out (when they wouldn’t be doing much anyways) or something of that nature.

As far as kids making choices, as long as the parent approves, I don’t see that it’s a big deal. When I was 14, I made a plan to finish homeschool high school in three years, and my mom basically said “If you can do it, fine.” When I was 16 and I got bored about a month after ‘graduating’ and decided to take AP classes at the local high school for college credit, my mom also basically said “If they let you, that sounds like a good idea.” However, possibly unlike some of these kids who ‘make’ school choices, I was very aware of my academic strengths and weaknesses and learning style, and made the decision based on what I thought would be best for me getting a well-rounded education that would prepare me for college, not what school it’s ‘cool’ to go to or what school all my friends went to. I sure know my classmates were shocked when they discovered that even though I was younger than them, I’d already legally graduated and didn’t even have to go to school =)