I have to cancel my appointments with my shrink. I’ve sworn that I’ve heard lobster cry out in pain when I drop them in boiling water. I know I’ve heard some similar noise when I’ve cut grapes off the vine and let’s not even go there when it comes to harvesting potatoes and carrots. I feel so relieved.
You ain’t heard nothin’ until you’ve heard the terrified screams of dust bunnies as they’re brutally sucked up into a Hoover.