Stig, I’ve been told Dinsdale Piranha nailed your head to the floor.
No, no. Never, never. He was a smashing bloke. He used to give his mother flowers and that. He was like a brother to me.
But the police have film of Dinsdale actually nailing your head to the floor.
Oh yeah, well - he did that, yeah.
Why?
Well he had to, didn’t he? I mean, be fair, there was nothing else he could do. I mean, I had transgressed the unwritten law.
What had you done?
Er... Well he never told me that. But he gave me his word that it was the case, and that’s good enough for me with old Dinsy. I mean, he didn’t want to nail my head to the floor. I had to insist. He wanted to let me off. There’s nothing Dinsdale wouldn’t do for you.
Hilarious!