This is why recognizing the following makes a marriage pretty much unbreakable no matter what:
1. Recognize your marriage as a sacrament, not a business arrangement.
2. Recognize that if you are called to marriage, it is your vocation. It is who you are in the eyes of God.
3. Remember the vows you took at your wedding. Think about what they meant, and understand these vows are for life, unbreakable, and if you try and void one (whether its how you treat your spouse, whether you are accepting your children or aborting them, or if you are raising them up according to the precepts of the church) you are discoupling your marriage vows from your marraige and look out below when that happens
4. Understand that your vocation is a vehicle of grace for you, and YOU are a vehicle of grace for your spouse. You are dependent upon one another to achieve heaven together. Do NOT be an obsticle to your spouse.
5. Love is a choice, not a feeling. Jesus taught us that in the Passion. He did not skip and dance His way to Calvary. He embraced His cross because His love was absolute. WHILE we were sinners, He gave His life for us. Can we do less for our spouse, even when we wake up, look over at them, and wonder, what was I thinking??? No, love is a choice, choose it every day, especially after you promise to.
Remember these things, and most importantly, remember that marriage is between 3 not 2. Christ is the head of every marriage.
Couples seem to loose sight of the fact that marriage takes work on the part of both parties.
My own marriage was starting to suffer a bit a few years back. I was feeling unloved and unappreciated. I was still cooking thoughtful meals and making it a point that my hubby came home to a welcoming environment. He was getting too wrapped up in work.
I sat him down and told him the problem. I asked that once a month he bring me a small gift. It could be a single flower, a coffee cup... anything. Just let me know that he cared. He also had to greet me properly when he walked in the door. A hug, a kiss, a “it’s good to see you!”
He agreed and followed through.
The tricky part with women is that when our men do what we ask, we get angry that that’s *all* they do. I didn’t fall into that trap. He did as I asked - and nothing more - and I saw that he was truly trying to make me happy and that he really did care. If he didn’t love me, he wouldn’t bother with the little things.
The thing is to identify the problem and come up with a reasonable solution quickly. He was getting too wrapped up in work. I had to be understanding that he was under a lot of pressure and stress and try not to add to the problem, yet still get him to refocus a bit on the relationship. I had to do it with compassion and in a nonconfrontational way. He had to meet me half way.
And those little things made a HUGE difference. We are more loving on a daily basis.
Women: Remember than your now-husband will never change.
If you take these things into careful, realistic consideration chances are you'll have a happy marriage.