Posted on 03/24/2009 3:51:11 PM PDT by Judith Anne
My daughter and her husband have three children, a 13 yo girl, a 9 yo girl, and a 2 yo boy. They've lived in their neighborhood for 9 years, moved in shortly after the second daughter was born.
They have a problem: There's a new family in the neighborhood with an 11 yo boy and a 3 yo boy. The 11 yo is supposed to babysit his 3 yo brother (which might be okay if he was responsible) but it turns out the neighbor's 3 yo comes over to my daughter's house to play with her kids, and no one knows where this neighbor child is, in his family.
The parents never come for their kid, nor does his 11 yo brother. I told my daughter that was too big a risk, that her kids weren't unpaid babysitters, that there was a liability issue if my daughter's dog (little Bichon) bit the 3 yo neighbor kid, kid could wander off etc.
My daughter has taken the child home to his brother and said, "He can't come play at my house," and has called the mom to say the same thing. My granddaughters are told to report if the child comes to play in their yard, on their swings, etc. because of the "attractive nuisance" and homeowner liability issues.
I hate to be paranoid, but I can just see my daughter and her husband getting sued for millions if their unwatched little 3 yo wanders over and gets hurt.
Am I out of line? SIL and daughter have taken my advice, but I'm wondering what FREEPERS say.
when kids out wandering, call child services or the police. The parents are not being responsible, and the children are not safe. What if a pedophile gets a hold of one of them. No, you must call for the sake of the kids. You tried the parent contact route, they are negligent.
Call the police.
Let him play. Unless they are millionaires, I doubt they can lose millions.
Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
He won’t be 3 forever. Next year he’ll be 4. Then, he’ll be in kindergarten. And when he is grown he will remember you and realize the great kindness you showed him for no personal benefit.
Tell your daughter to call the police.
Very bad advice.
way too dangerous in todays world. What if the child gets snagged on the way to her house? What if she is not home? Who is protecting this child from the freaks on the loose today? What about if there is a pit bull or a poisonous snake or bug he decides to touch, how about eating poison? You MUST call, this child is THREE!! No where near old enough to know better, defend himself, or protect himself.
She has warned them, and it would be good if she can document it with phone calls, so the next time the child wanders unsupervised call the police.
Trust me... once they and CPS get involved there will be a big difference. These people LIVE to intefere in lived.
The only problem is that they may have trouble dealing with an ACTUAL problem (where they might be afraid of getting sued) instead of an IMAGINED problem (like interfering in child custody in a divorce to protect children from EVIL fathers)
An 11 year old is not old enough to be a caregiver. The parents are likely breaking the law. You don’t tell us their circumstances, though, and I suppose there’d be a different answer if mom and dad are both working multiple jobs or if the 11 year old babysits while they party. If it is the latter, do their kids a favor and call child services.
For a few hundred dollars per year, anyone can have a top-notched team of lawyers perpetually at the ready.
what about the freaks who send their 13 year old daughters to nudist camps with 17 year old boys and where no parents are allowed? just the perverts running the places?
something is destroying our culture
Call the police and ask them to take the kid home. Better to do this while he is outside your home.
In our state, a child must be 14 years old to be left in charge of another child. They have to be 11 to be home alone for no more than 2 hours.
I called DCFS for the laws before I ever left my 12 year old home alone because I figured if something happened, I’d be held accountable.
I have a 7 year old, so I wanted to know how old she had to be to babysit.
If something happens to this child while wandering around I’m afraid your daughter would feel some level of guilt (perhaps for the rest of her life) if she does nothing about this. This is NOT a case of a nosey neighbor meddling, this is truly a case of looking out for a child that is unable to care for him/herself since the parents aren’t doing it either. It shouldn’t be the responsibility of the 11 year old sibling either but that is a whole other topic of discussion. Take pictures, document, make phone calls.
Daughter is here with the kids for dinner, and she has read this thread.
She wants me to tell you for her: THANKS! The whole situation makes her uneasy, and she seriously thinking she’ll call the police and have them take the kid home, next time.
That may cause some serious neighbor problems, too, though...
Good advice. /sarc
I sure as hell wouldn't let neighbors I hardly know keep an eye on my kids. I expect others to show the same parental sense.
Judithanne, how well does your daughter know the family? Calling the cops is going to sour any chance of a neighborly relationship forever and should only be used as a nuclear option. The point needs to be made firmly, though...tough call. Heck, I'm not being much help, am I
sigh
Family is new in the neighborhood. Nobody knows them well at all at this point.
My daughter and SIL have always been very protective of their kids, they’re in parochial school, the neighborhood kids know each other pretty well and there are a couple of groups of kids, some of whom will go one way in life, the other, another. You can almost tell, even when they’re pre-puberty...Daughter has a group of neighbors that they all call each other when the kids visit or decide to go indoors, as in “Hi, Caroline, Sissy and Belle are playing Barbies, when do you want me to send her home?” etc. This little guy is too young for any of that.
Besides, my granddaughters and most of their friends have inexpensive cell phones so their parents can always reach them in the neighborhood.
When my daughter was telling me about this, the first time, I could almost see the 3 yo’s mom on local TV, crying, “Please, if you have my son, just bring him home.” A disaster in the making.
RE: “I called DCFS for the laws before I ever left my 12 year old home alone...”
That might be something you could do for the mother. Find out the local laws, explain them to her, tell her how serious and the situation is, and tell her what you intend to do if it continues.
If she continues her negligence, follow through. If that causes friction among neighbors, it doesn’t sound like you’ve lost much. But if it corrects the problem, she will appreciate how you handled it.
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