They will be happy to grant a divorce on the condition of alimony equal to 40% of your income or more, for the rest of your life. If you die rich, they want about half of your estate. You can appeal the settlement to judges Barney Frank or Charlie Rangel.
Secession. It’s time to give it another try.
And we’re keeping Texas. We came into the marriage with it and we’re taking it with us when we go.
p.s. They can keep the IRS.
“Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.”
No. Any such agreement will only be friendly on the surface. Do this and the “American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al” will have a solid geographic base from which to infiltrate and undermine the “conservative” landmass till they can take it over too, either covertly or overtly.
After all, why would they think Conservatives would fight any harder or better for what they’d have left than they did for the whole country?
Outstanding! Where do I sign?
The only quibble I has was calling healthcare a “luxury”. It is a need, like food, shelter and clothing, but not a “right”.
Before the election, I suggested a fantasy, that the election would cause a permanent, cosmic split of the Earth into two distinct worlds, forever apart. One world would be called “Rightworld” and the other “Leftworld”.
Sort of a Rapture-like event, but with most Republicans and conservatives going to one world, and the Democrats, liberals, and other leftists going to the other world. And there, both sides would live with, and experience their beliefs.
Importantly, not their desires or outcomes, but what they believed. So, for example, “Leftworld” would experience man made global warming, but “Rightworld” would not. Because they left believes in MMGW, even if they don’t want it. If they wanted NHS style universal health care, for which they endlessly argue, they would get it. In spades.
This makes for a fascinating thought problem. What would the two worlds be like?
But I made an interesting discovery. Liberal Democrats and other leftists were *horrified* with the idea! They did not want to have to live with their decisions AT ALL. The light dawned for them that a world based on what they believed would be awful, horrible, nasty.
They were very scared of the idea of living in a world not maintained and improved by Republicans and conservatives. They were not under any illusion that a world completely run by Democrats and liberals and the left would be a good place. In fact, it was evident to them that it would SUCK. They want to criticize and tear down, not build and uplift.
Conservatives who read the thought problem, however, had no such reservations. They easily embraced the idea that a world without liberal Democrats and other leftists would be a much better place. They saw longstanding problems being solved overnight, people being happier, healthier, and prosperous. Generous, ambitious and creative. A real paradise.
And all because they were freed of the dead weight, the millstone, the stupid and mean spirited ideas and efforts of the left. A world devoid of self-hatred, nagging insufferability, endless petty argument and vindictiveness.
Conservatives were idealistic about it at all. They knew that Rightworld would have its share of problems. But they also knew that in a world of conservatives, good people can and would work together to make the world a better place.
No, no, no. They get NBC and ABC and CBS and CNN, and PBS and NPR too. We'll keep FOXNews and talk radio.
Sorry but this is one of those, “Till death do us part” situations.