I hope no one finds this offensive, I thought it was cute.
John 14: 1-14
Jesus give kittehs cheezburgerz
1 "No gots 2 wori, K? Gots ta trust in Ceiling Cat; also trust in me. Ceiling Cat's house got many sofas; kitteh woud no lie! I go
2 fix u sofa K?"
3 I wants to has partee wif u.
4 I do go catwalk; yu knowz catwalk too.
5 Thomcat saiz:"We do not know wher yu walk, how do we knoe teh catwalk?"
6 Jebus say "oh hai. i m teh way n teh truf n teh life. no one can has walkin da catwalk wif Ceiling Cat wifout me."
7 If u knowz Me, u knowz Ceiling Cat.
8 Philippus: If u show us Ceiling Cat, ten we r happycats.
9 Jebus say "scuse me? U iz not knowin me? U seez me, you seez Ceiling Cat. Y u not getz it?
10 I iz curled up insides Ceiling Cat an Ceiling Cat is curled up insides me. Ceiling Cat iz talkin and workin when Iz talkin and workin.
11 Dont y'all c mirakllz? If u can't bliev ma wordz u can still bliev mirakllz.
12 An gess wat. I haz rly gud deel fr y'all. Y'alls can do same stuff Iz doin wit powr of Ceiling Cat. BTW, y'all can do evan bettr stuff cause I goin back to Ceiling Cat soon. (BRB.)
13 Wen I goez back to Ceiling Cat, u say "In Jebus' name" an I do all stuffs for u! Den Ceiling Cat getz all praise from all kittehs!
14 Ask me anything! Chek it out, d00d! Cause I doez it fr u!