Congratulations to you and your daughter. It’s obvious from your post that this little baby couldn’t be more loved than he is right there in your home.
Adoption today is a risky business. As you point out, from your own experience, not all adoptive homes are loving homes.
Your daughter won’t have to worry and wonder for the next several decades whether her child is being loved and well cared for.
But the child WILL get to wonder what it’s like to have a full-time dad.
So which insecurity is more important?
This is the reality:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/31848502@N07/3307500859/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/31848502@N07/3344282731/
It hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure, but no one said life would be and we’re doing the best we can and showering that baby with lots of love! He is a happy, healthy, wonderful little boy.
We qualify for lots of “aid” but we don’t accept it. We paid cash for his first check up and he is on medicaid but will be on it for a short amount of time as our hand has been forced and we have to sue the birth father and his parents (our next door neighbors). The father joined the Army and the baby can have tri-care. Other than that, my daughter is getting a job when she turns 16 (April) and anything she gets goes to her son. She has us for support and we will make sure she finishes HS and becomes the RN she wants to be.
My sons' birthmothers don't have to worry. We've kept close contact and visit regularly--as we have for the last 14 and 12 years. We didn't "plan" open adoption--it just happened by the Grace of God. I think it's better for the kids not to have "fantasies". Heck, when I was a kid, I sometimes wished I was adopted so I could go find my "real" parents. ;)