A man called his mother after not having spoken to her for two weeks. When she answered he said, "I'm sorry I haven't called Mom, how are you doing?"
His Mother replied, "I'm fine, thanks for calling"
A Catholic Priest and Rabbi were seated next to one another on a long flight. Both being pious men they quietly discussed spiritual concerns.
The priest said, “Tell me, I know your faith forbids pork. Have you ever eaten pork?”
“Yes,” he said, “once I had the choice of eating pork or starving. I admit, I ate the pork. Now tell me, you are sworn to celibacy. Have you ever had relations with a woman?”
“I admit I did have a girlfriend prior to entering the priesthood. Yes, we had sex.”
“Better than pork, eh?!” said the Rabbi