Posted on 02/26/2009 5:16:21 AM PST by dennisw
My cousin's son is in 12th grade and going to college next year
GOAL!!!!---that he not goof off in college like he has in high school. He is obsessed with on line poker (no other computer games are involved)
Question--- why should his parents put forth a full effort (pay all tuition and room and board) when he won't put forth full effort to get As and to excel
Question
What proportion of college--- top 20 private school ---$50,000/year ---should he pay? 50% perhaps?
Question ---- should they (bribe!!!) have a reward system where the better the grades are the less of the $50,000 he has to account for by student loans or working?
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------ Parents are conservative and will look at answers and are very interested in your opinions ....
---- Father is dentist on Long Island NY. Mother keeps busy
----Lazy relatives son---
----plays poker on line all the time...not other computer games
---- plays late at night
---- he is in HS senior year already accepted to college
---- never had summer job
---- will not get one this summer the boy says but actually just got a tutoring job (some classmate maybe)
--- parents can afford to pay all tuition and room and board
----BUT are seriously thinking of insisting that he pay a large part (maybe half) by taking out loans and working---- because he is lazy......
----and want him to have "skin in the game" to put a constraint on the on line poker
----- OTHERWISE he will be quite content to just get B and C when he is far more capable and this limits what grad schools he can get into
----- And they resent paying full freight when he will not put forth the effort to get A grades
--- College which is $50,000 and three thousand miles away
---private college
---- has claimed to me he will be studying statistics and economics
----- only child
--- very very very high SAT of the 2400 kind
--- bad lazy attitude over all
----- laziness started in 10th grade he is in 12th now
---- Involved in on line poker ever since 10th grade and this is when bad lazy attitude started
---- not socializing enough with peers
HIS PARENTS ARE VERY WORRIED ABOUT WHAT HE IS GOING TO DO IN COLLEGE!!!
Thanks for all the responses. They are greatly appreciated!!
The poker playing kid has been busted!! and his parents will be seeing all these responses. I telephoned them and read some and they will be online to see them too
If he didn’t get excellent grades in high school, how is he even going to be accepted into a ‘top 20 school’?
If it were my kid, I’d make him work in some low paying, low status job for a year. That way he’ll get an idea what he’ll be doing if he doesn’t do well in college.
with those stratospheric SAT scores, seems he’d be offered some sort of scholarship. not that that would solve any of his issues.
That's pretty much what i did (except dad gave me $500 for a downpayment for my truck), and I'm glad I did. I was OK for the military, but no way was i mature enough to get the college degree i now have.
Hi there, parents!!!! There are some darn good responses here!
DW, let us know the decisions, please.
Of course I got a 100% free ride in college courtesy of Uncle Sam and Navy ROTC. I guess I'm being hypocritical.
my kids were told they would get an associates degree from the community college. If you excel there, we will then talk about graduate school, but keep in mind that you better have some cash in the bank, cuz daddy and mommy ain’t gonna bankroll ya......if you have a desire and want it bad enough, you will figure out a way to make it happen..
Maybe the kid should consider taking up a trade instead?
Frankly, I think college is, in many ways, a racket. I think we ought to go to a testing-based credentialing system, rather than considering someone “qualified” because they have a piece of paper with their name on it.
Why doesn’t he have free-ride (or close to it) scholarships, with that SAT?
And I see no reason he can’t go to a state school for his undergrad. Only a graduate degree with be worth anything in economics/statistics, and he can go to a fancy big-name grad school if he does well in undergrad.
To answer your question, they should pay none.
Why people pay 30k a year + for English 101, Soc 101, History 101, and Gym credits is beyond me.
Bingo. That is what I did. I'm not paying that money for basically High School revisited. That is all your first two years are.
Why doesn’t he have free-ride (or close to it) scholarships, with that SAT?
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Parents say that even with close to 2400 SAT the scholarships are heavily oriented to those who volunteer a lot and minorities
Kid refused this volunteerism
My wife and I were watching Intervention the other night about gambling. She didn’t believe people could be addicted to gambling until she saw that show.
Gambling is very serious. Uncle Guido WANTS his money and he WILL get it.
I wonder how many times this kid mowed the lawn, washed the car, did the dishes if just simply placing them in the washer, his laundry, his room and other myriad chores.
I would venture my opinion that probably not many were expected from him.
Maybe he should become a professional poker player.
The first year, have the student take out 100% loans in his name. Have the parents tell him they will get him off the hook (for all, certain %, whatever their financial situation allows) if he finishes his first year with a B+ avg. Likely what will happen is that he will do poorly in his first semester, as it sounds like he cruised through high school without much effort, and assumes he will be able to do the same in college. He won't. Then, he'll step it up in the 2nd semester. Then, reassess where he is at the end of the year - if he has really stepped it up, the parents will have to decide how to proceed at that point. Otherwise, have them wash their hands, and the kid is left with $50,000 in debt.
I wonder how many times this kid mowed the lawn, washed the car, did the dishes if just simply placing them in the washer, his laundry, his room and other myriad chores.
I would venture my opinion that probably not many were expected from him.
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Let’s just say you got a line on him.
Only for the very top-tier schools where those scores are the rule, rather than the exception. I went to a perfectly good state university with a free ride based on my ACT and SAT scores, with no volunteer / community service crap.
Years ago my brother took it to the extreme. Went to a CC for first 2 years, then transferred to Johns Hopkins. His “paper on the wall” says Hopkins, just like everyone else, but his first 2 years he paid $1500 a year for unlimited credits.
When I first started college, my parents paid for everything so I was under more pressure to do well. I also had much more free time. While I had more than my fair share of intoxication and chasing ladies, I also had more time to get my work done.
Later on, I started my own business and paid for everything myself. I wasn't under as much pressure and didn't mind lower grades since it was MY money now. I also had less time to study. Having to work and study at the same time definitely lowered my grades.
OTOH, I knew plenty of kids that didn't mind blowing all of their parents money. I had respect for my parents and this is the key.
If the kid is not disciplined and doesn't care about the parent's money, sending them to a far-away and expensive school can be a disaster.
“Went to a CC for first 2 years, then transferred to Johns Hopkins.”
I hear ya. Good friend of mine went to CC, studied her butt off, got scholarship to Loyola (Bal). Honors student. Got great job. The rest is history. :-)
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