Well, look at the bright side.
Since the initial figures were "Alice-in-Wonderland" fantasy to begin with, nothing would surprise me. Example:
Furby Snerdley, of Anytown, Hawaii, was killed today in a frightening automobile accident, when he hit a concrete abutment while traveling in excess of 130 miles per hour --- on the wrong side of the road. His body was burned beyond recognition in the ensuing fire, and he was decapitated when ejected from the vehicle through the windshield. Three empty bottles of Jack Daniels were found on the front seat. Mr Snerdley, a long-time AIDS activist and well known transvestite, was later found to have a blood alcohol level of 45%. The ashtray in the vehicle was found to contain numerous cigarette butts.
Unfortunately, another tobacco smoke-related death has been tallied.
< /loser twit mode>
Did you ever see the “Odd Couple” show where Oscar is playing pool and Felix keeps interrupting him about smoking? Felix says his 35 year old friend, a smoker, just died. Oscar loses the game of pool because he gets upset. He asks Felix what the guy died from, cancer, heart attack, what? Felix says, oh none of those, he got hit by a bus.