Lady Astor: “If I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee.”
Churchill’s Reply: “If I were married to you, I’d drink it.”
Gosh darn it....you beat me to it! Didn't see your post before placing mine.
Bimbo date, chatting endlessly about nothing, noting her date seems bored....says sarcastically, "I hope I'm not keeping you up."
Date, who happens to be wit Oscar Levant, says "I wish you were."