Bring back the horizontal hold knob!
Jeff Gordon fires his whole pit crew!!
This announcement followed Gordon’s decision to take advantage of the government’s scheme to employ some Harlem youngsters.
The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than six seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon’s existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with millions of dollars worth of high tech equipment.
It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Jeff Gordon’s management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.
However, Gordon got more than he bargained for! At the crew’s first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had resprayed, rebadged and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt for ten cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon’s wife in the shower.
"All your horizontal hold are belong to us!"