You are wise. I don't believe I have ever said that to anyone before. My father in law has alzheimers. He drove railroad engines in steel mills until he retired. He never owned a credit card. Now his wife spends his pension on "care". He would have gladly walked off into the woods to give his wife financial peace of mind. Your hypothesis has the merit of reason and your loyalty has the merit of love.
“My father in law has alzheimers. Now his wife spends his pension on ‘care’.”
I cared for my husband at home 24/7/365 for three years. It wasn’t easy, but I learned a lot. He died in his own bed. [Fortunately, he was eligible for VA, so I was only spending about $300 a month on him. After he died, my annual income dropped by $12,000. Unfortunately my expenses did not.] If I can be of help to anyone with this problem, I would be glad to share what I have learned. You can also private message me.