Sometimes issues build up over decades with bad behavior on one or both side of the in-law question. It would certainly be better to send elderly relatives to a nursing home rather than to try to live with them in a destructive living arrangement.
My father and mother in-law signed their property over to a son and daughter in-law a few years ago, with the agreement, I am sure, that they would have a place to live there as long as they lived. My father in-law died over two years ago; the MIL is still living at 85. The spoiled, entitled son has been to our house once in the past year or so, and then mainly to spew his venon against his mother and announce as how he isn’t likely to even go to her funeral because of this and that. That in itself is enough to insure that I’m done being on their turf ever again; but mainly because of the caustic manner in which he speaks to me, and the disrespectful way he treats me when and where he pleases. - I hope she lives to a hundred and holds their selfish feet to the fire every minute of it. They certainly do love those free lunches, but never seem to realize there are strings attached to those lunches.- It isn’t his call as to who should die and when in order to leave their earthly goods for him and his wife. - I’ve encouraged my husband to intervene if it gets to be too nasty a situation for her. (In her mind, the nasty boy and his greedy wife have golden rear ends.)