Some Obama jokes:
What did Barack Obama ask when he learned that Russia invade Georgia? Is South Carolina next?
What's the difference between Sarah Palin and Barack Obama? One is a well dressed, attractive piece of eye-candy. The other kills her own food.
What does Obama say when you sneeze around him? I bless you.
What happens when Obama mentions his relationship with Saul Alinsky? He turns red.
Have you seen the new bumper sticker? It’s Obama bin Biden.
What’s the difference between Osama bin Laden and Obama bin Biden? With Obama bin Biden, you get two for the price of one.
Since Barack Obama likes to play basketball and Sarah Palin was point guard on a state champion basketball team in high school. Obama said he’d like to play Palin in a game of horse. Palin wants a game of one-on-one. “I think I can take him,” she said. “Everyone knows he won’t move to his right.”
What did Obama say when the Reverend Jeremiah Wright asked if he was listening during his sermons? “I’m all ears.”
Speaking of ears, what’s the difference between Barack Obama and Dumbo? Dumbo is smarter than he looks.
Why did Barack Obama cross the road? To help the other side.
Why did John McCain cross the road? He didn’t. He got to the middle and stopped.
Obama claims McCain cheated during the Saddleback Church forum. He knew McCain cheated because he gave straight answers. Politicians aren't supposed to do that.
Obama and McCain were talking in the Senate cloakroom one day. Obama told McCain, “I’ve got a great way to win the cabbie vote. I give them a big tip, which I charge to the taxpayers, and tell them to vote Obama.” McCain responded, “I think my approach is better. I don’t give them any tip and tell them to vote Obama.”
People worry that McCain, if elected, might not last four years due to his age. Others worry that America, if Obama’s elected, might not last four years due to his policies.
Why won’t Obama laugh at himself? He doesn’t want to be accused of being a racist.
Why won’t Obama drink Pepsi? He wrote in his book that he prefers Coke.
Why is Jimmy Carter campaigning hard for Obama? It’s Carter’s one shot to avoid going down in history as the worst president ever.
What does terrorist Bill Ayers think of his friend, Barack Obama? He thinks he’s the bomb.
Why is Obama so skinny? He has to stay light on his feet to walk on water.
What does Obama and Osama bin Laden have in common? They’re both friends with terrorists who bombed the Pentagon.
Where did Obama decry the influence of money on politics? Barbara Streisand’s $28,500 a plate dinner.
Did you notice how Sarah Palin kept referring to McCain as John S. McCain during her speech at the Republican convention? This bewildered conservatives who always thought his middle name was “effing.”
What do Miley Cyrus and Barack Obama have in common? They both attract young people with mindless verses.
What’s the difference between Michelle Obama and pit bull? Pit bulls aren’t angry *all* the time.
Barry had contact with Communists in his younger years, and continued the relationship. John had contact with Communists for 5 1/2 years as a young man and has a much different impression.
A look at the Obamanation:
A funny thing happened to me on the way to the gulag...
Take my fearless leader, PLEASE!
A socialist, a capitalist and a communist agreed to meet. The socialist was late. ‘Excuse me for being late, I was standing in a queue for sausages.’ ‘And what is a queue?’ the capitalist asked. ‘And what is a sausage?’ the communist asked.
Will there really be secret police under Obama? No, by then people will have learned to arrest themselves.
How will things be under Obama? Well, Lenin showed ‘us’ how to govern. Stalin showed ‘us’ how not to govern. Khrushchev showed us that any fool can govern. And Brezhnev showed us that not every fool can govern.
Why have the newer models of TVs been equipped with screen wipers, similar to the windshield wipers on a car? Because people are frequently spitting at the screen.
What’s the difference between socialism and capitalism?Under capitalism one person exploits another person, and under socialism - the opposite.