“When my daughter was 7, she came home crying about the boy on the bus who kept pinching her and hitting her. I told her she had my permission to hit him back. 2 days later I get a call form the school wanting me to meet with the principle, my daughter had been in a fight. It seems the young man had punched her in the belly, she in turn, hit him over the head with her Fonzie lunch pail. He had to be taken to the ER for stitches. He never messed with her again. “
Which proves the point: aggression must be met with deliberate force.
My parents taught me that under no circumstances was anyone to touch me if I didn’t want them to. I grew up in a pretty rough neighborhood, and never had any trouble with bullies. When I suspected someone might be thinking about touching me, I would stop everything I was doing and focus my entire attention on them, giving off casual but obvious defensive signals. Only one or two of them even made a step toward me. At that point, I eliminated the casual from the defensive signals. I suspect the reason no one ever tried it was because my parents taught me that my bodily integrity was part of my honor, and that it was worth defending with everything I had. Regardless of the threat, I was ready to defend to the death. I find this attitude still works. And if, at some point, it doesn’t, at least I will have died with honor.