A close friend used to be a pastor of a small town church in Arkansas.
When a woman (not in his church) died, he was asked by the children to perform the funeral.
While working on it, he asked the children to give him a list of her accomplishments and “good works”.
By the end of the day, all they were able to come up with was “She liked to do crossword puzzles”.
Sad...
On a personal note, my mother told us (siblings and I) that when she dies, she wants us to have a party, toast her and say “the b*tch is finally dead.”
I dunno...I’m kinda torn.
Fulfill her wishes. You could always have private service later.
When my husband’s aunt died, there were tons of words from the funeral director who didn’t know her. Apparently, the children (ages 45-60) couldn’t come up with much good about her so he kind of winged it, talking about the wonderful helpmate and mother she’d been. Everyone was kind of..’huh? okaaaay’.
Sad, I thought. I told my family that when I die, I want a celebration of my life, no dark colors but bright purple and red and yellow and blue, tons of gorgeous bright flowers, my favorite songs and poems, lots of nutty photographs and nothing but laughter, good memories, lots of talk and good food.