[w1andsodidwe]

I have severe, lifelong issues with my mother, and I doubt I’ll be overly disturbed by her passing. That said, I will attend her funeral, and I will be polite, and I will keep my thoughts to myself. I’m at peace with my childhood and see no value in publicly digging up a painful past.

Same here. I am almost always polite to my mother, but will not allow her to be manipulative any more. Case in point: Last year on the way to my nephews wedding reception she threw a typical crying fit and said she was so upset she just couldn't go to the reception. I told her that this was to honor my nephew not her and that she could sit in the car if she wanted to. She didn't. But I still attended her 90's birthday party in January. My father, god rest his soul, always said "The good die young".

[Not A Snowbird]

It’s hard sometimes, isn’t it? You’re right, taking control is the only way to deal with someone like that.