.357. Load it with .38 for the Mrs.
My pistol is the Ruger GP-10 or something. Get a gun with a ‘mechanical’ sounding name, not something macho sounding like “Dessert Hawk” that sounds like you wanted to shoot someone. Also use “Glasser Safety slugs” for home defense. Sounds “safe”, and they will not go through the perp, through the wall, through your children's room, etc. They explode on contact for “safety”.
Love it even more with CT addition. And the added security of being able to hit your target if you *need* to do so. ;)