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To: Soliton
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and was later thawed by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me!

Sometimes when I fly to Europe on the Concorde, I wonder, am I inside some sort of giant bird? Am I gonna be digested? I don't know, because I'm a caveman, and that's the way I think!

When I'm courtside at a Knicks game, I wonder if the ball is some sort of food they're fighting over. When I see my image on the security camera at the country club, I wonder, are they stealing my soul? I get so upset, I hop out of my Range Rover, and run across the fairway to to the clubhouse, where I get Carlos to make me one of those martinis he's so famous for, to soothe my primitive caveman brain.

But whatever world you're from, I do know one thing - in the 20 years from March 22nd, 1972, when he first ordered that extra nicotine be put into his product, until February 25th, 1992, when he issued an inter-office memorandum stopping the addition of that nicotine, my client was legally insane. And, for that reason, I ask that you find him.. not guilty. Thank you."


19 posted on 07/16/2008 1:52:10 PM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: PBRSTREETGANG

Brilliant skit by the much missed and much lamented Phil Hartman. Thanks for the laugh!


22 posted on 07/16/2008 1:55:25 PM PDT by allmendream (If "the New Yorker" makes a joke and liberals don't get it, is it still funny?)
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To: PBRSTREETGANG

I miss Phil. And so does The Simpsons.


26 posted on 07/16/2008 2:00:25 PM PDT by TheWasteLand
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