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To: Slings and Arrows

The best place to hide from a homicidal madman is in a dark cellar. Whatever you do, don’t EVER leave the house.


31 posted on 07/03/2008 5:28:45 AM PDT by milky
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To: milky

And the correlating rules of horror movies:

1 Whenever you hide, choose a spot with only one entrance or exit. That way, when the killer walks in the door, you’ll have nowhere to run.

2 If you’re somewhere with a group of people and something creepy starts happening, split up and have everyone go off alone. Then, when your token minority friend dies, you’ll know for SURE that something sinister is going on.

3 If you’re going into a dark room and something dangerous might be inside, don’t turn on the light, because otherwise you won’t have the spooky suspense of not knowing where it is.

3a Similarly, don’t take a weapon, or anything that could be used as a weapon. If you do, you might actually be able to defend yourself from whatever it is that’s so dangerous.

4 Overly friendly but somewhat creepy locals always mean well, and should always be trusted. Until two separate people die/disappear and they blow both incidents off.

5 Being sexually active will not put you at risk for contracting STD’s, getting pregnant, or having any of the other standard negative consequences. Even if it did, you wouldn’t have time to find out, because it almost guarantees you’ll be the psychotic murderer’s next victim.


32 posted on 07/03/2008 6:58:26 AM PDT by Hyzenthlay (I aim to misbehave.)
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