But right now, yes everyone is the moment you've all been waiting for; it's time for our Stop the Film spots! As you know, the rules are very simple. We have taken a film which contains compromising scenes and unpleasant details which could wreck a man's career. (gasp) But, the victim may 'phone me at any moment, and stop the film. But remember the money increases as the film goes on, so-o-o-o: the longer you leave it, the more you have to pay! Tonight, Stop the Film visits the little Thames-side village of Thames Ditton.
Well, here we go, here we go now, let's see...where's our man. Oh yes, there he is behind the tree now.... Mm, boy, this is fun, this is good fun.... He looks respectable, so we should be in for some real...real chucks here.... A member of the government, could be a brain surgeon, they're the worst.... wHOW! Look at the size of that.....briefcase. Aah, yes, he's, he's up to the door, rung the doorbell now.... O-oh, who's the little number with the nightie and the whip, eh? Heh-heh. Doesn't look like his mother....could be his sister.... If it is he's in real trouble.... And just look at that, they're upstairs already... whoah, boy, this is fun! A very brave man, our contestant tonight. Who-ho-ho!! This is no Tupperware party! Very brave man, they don't usually get this far... What's--what's that, what's she's doing to his.....is that a CHICKEN up there? No, no, it's just the way she's holding the grapefruit... Whoah, ho ho...
(picking up 'phone)
Hello sir...yes...aha-ha-ha...yes, just in time, sir, that was...what? No, no, sir, it's alright, we don't morally censor, we just want the money. Thank you sir, yes,....what? You.....okay....Thank you for playing the game, sir, very nice indeed, okay....okay, see you tonight, Dad, bye-bye.
Well, that's all from this edition of Blackmail. Join me next week, same time, same channel....Join me, two dogs, and a vicar, when we'll be playing "Pedorasto", the game for all the family. Thank you, thank you, thank you....