MORFORD: Stay home, read, have sex

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 6/4/8 | Mark Morford

[SmithL]

Will insane gas prices finally pummel us into evolving? How bad will it get?

It should be a truly fascinating — albeit possibly enormously grim — thing to watch, one of the more dramatic and revolutionary market-driven shifts in modern history, upheaving everything we've become so accustomed to and changing behaviors and attitudes and alliances and political agendas and ass-girths and no I'm not talking about the "Lost" finale or the new 3G iPhone or how Brangelina's twins are a sure sign of the Second Coming.

It's the massive, painful spike in gas and oil prices, that most wonderful/frightening harbinger of doom/change/turmoil known to modern society that is fast turning into a calamitous global hurricane, ready to wreak havoc on just about every aspect of modern life, and that includes food and transport and sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll and just about everything else that makes America, America.

What, too dramatic? Not by much. The initial signs are all in place. The price of a barrel of oil is soaring, production levels are peaking, the world economy is shuddering in the face of a permanent production slowdown, even the most staid economists and prognosticators are blinking hard and saying holy hell, we really have no idea how this will all shake out.

You can already feel the initial clenching. As a nation, they say we're already driving about 4 percent less than we did last year, which translates into 11 billion miles per month, which, for gluttonous and wanton Americans, is technically considered "a lot." SUV sales are tanking fast and trading in your old gas hog is increasingly difficult as rampant feelings of comeuppance and I-told-you-so smugness from small car/scooter/bike owners spread across the land...

[SmithL]

Morfordite Alert

You have been warned!

[Always Right]

How can they have anonymous sex in bathroom stalls if they stay home???

[To Hell With Poverty]

This scooter rider says Morford can piss off!

[Jo Nuvark]

Can’t wait to see the creative ways “can do” people will find to meet this crisis.

Necessity has always been and forever will be the mother of invention.

[Doohickey]

This is one sick dude.

[Doohickey]

Shhh. Rest area bathrooms are on the verge of becoming safe for children again.

[RichInOC]

Markie can read?

[mkjessup]

Random mold in a petrie dish has more culture than Morford.

A waste of oxygen.

[denydenydeny]

These people are sounding more and more like the accusers in the Book of Job, though the religous parallel would horrify them.

[y6162]

“It’s the massive, painful spike in gas and oil prices, that most wonderful/frightening harbinger of doom/change/turmoil..”

Guess what Morford? Even liberals will be running over greens in their pussy Prius’, screaming drill, now by the time this is over.

Greens are insane if they think we’re going to suffer in silence while our standard of living is reduced by a third for no good reason.

[weegee]

“It’s the massive, painful spike in gas and oil prices, that most wonderful/frightening harbinger of doom/change/turmoil..”

Like an addict has ever quit spiking drugs just because the cost got too high.

[fightinbluhen51]

I guess it’s the end of days, maybe we should just all Heaven’s Gate ourselves. :eyeroll:

[TriGirl]

“Stay home, read, have sex”

Uh oh! We have one of our children because my husband had the day off in the middle of the week....

[M203M4]

I can easily stroll from my flat in Alamo Square all the way downtown in about a half hour, with only three or four slightly nervous glances over my shoulder as I pass through the housing projects and only recoiling for about 10 solid minutes as I endure a particularly hellish, grungy five-block strip of the Market Street corridor...

This is unprecedented. Morford appears to have a small hope of redemption.

[denydenydeny]

Um...I was making the point that environmentalism is a religion to these people. Try to keep up.

[fightinbluhen51]

I know...but us smart one’s realize its nothing but a cult! ;-) I was keeping up by being a step ahead.

[Doohickey]

With the kind of sex Morford is referring to, reproduction is biologically impossible unless you happen to be a tree frog.

[SmithL]

heh heh heh,

Back in my Navy days, one of my guys put in a request for the afternoon off, because his wife was going to have a baby, and he wanted to be there for the conception. Of course I approved it.

[SmithL]

Markie can read?

He sure can't write.

[y6162]

“Like an addict has ever quit spiking drugs just because the cost got too high.”

Yes..in this case the Dems addiction to collecting taxes and distributing pork while using children as human shields.