Ev would love nothing more, trust me.:)
....and as for protein, never fear, I make sure I consume an adequate amount each & every day. No way would I give up eggs & dairy. This is Wisconsin, ya know. Cheese curds are one of the four food groups (I won't tell you what the other three are, I've upset you enough already.;-)
'Go medieval on your @$$' doesn't require bringing the food into it.
Watered and sugared wine, coffee and random ground grains were bad enough for breakfast. And the old barstid never did make his point.
Pork sausage, a good biscuit, and two over easy with strong coffee works better for me.
Today... that is a good day to be alive and kicking arse. ;)
/johnny