Officer...why are you speeding?
I’ll try to clean this flying penis joke up, but you better read fast anyway.
The Voo-doo Dick
Paris Hilton had a trust-fund friend who wanted to impress her famous friend on her birthday, so she went to a voo-doo shop in Spanish Harlem for something unique.
She told the proprietress that she wanted something for a young woman who had everything.
The owner replied, “You come in back room.” She showed her a box on a table in the middle of the room with a lock on it. She unlocked the box and said, “Voo-doo dick, arise!”
Out of the box arose a large penis with a small set of wings. It hovered like a hummingbird for a while, then slowly floated back down into the box.
“You tell him what to do, he do it” she said.
The young woman thought that was really swell, so she paid for it and took it to Paris’ birthday party. Everyone agreed it was a real `hoot’.
After the party, Paris decided to test it, so she told it to . . she said, “Vood-doo dick, I want a . . . a party in my pants.”
It did what it was told.
A couple hours later:
she couldn’t get it to stop . . so she got in her Ferrari, carefully, and raced to the emergency room.
A cop pulled her over for speeding. He saw she was very flustered, asked her `what the emergency was/where was the fire?’ and she pointed to her dress and said:
“Officer, it’s this voo-doo dick . . .”
The cop looked at her dress, sized up the car, decided she was just trying to beat the ticket, and said, “Voo-doo dick my ass.”