A Brit, an American and a Russian were sole suvivors of a plane going down while flying over the ocean, and they paddled to a nearby deserted island.
A few weeks later while digging for clams they find that genie bottle (that keeps turning up) . . . so they rub it. A genie appears & tells them: “I’m a two wish genie. Hurry, make up your minds.”
The Brit wishes for an estate in Devonshire with 2000 acres of gardens. And he then wishes to be there.
The American smiles and says, “I want a yacht that can haul me and a hold full of gold bars.” And he motors away.
The Russian frowns, states that he’s lonely and wishes for a quart of vodka. The he says, “And I want those two back here.”
That was great! Here's something in return:
An American, an Englishman and a Russian are teaching a cat to eat mustard.
The first forces the cat to eat the mustard, the second tricks the cat, but the Russian covers the cat`s bottom with mustard. The cat licks it and squeals.
The Russian: "He`s eating it willingly and he`s singing too!"