[tomkow6]

Today's FEEBLE

YOKE:

A man was sent to prison for 20 years.
He was so bored while in there; he found an ant and decided to teach it tricks - like beg, play dead, roll over, jump hair etc.
He served his time and was released.

He took his ant with him in a matchbox.
The first place he went was to a bar. He sat down, took out the matchbox and emptied out the ant.
He then said to the guy beside him, "you are not gonna believe what this ant can do".
He showed him all the tricks and the guy was impressed. He told him that he could make a fortune with the ant.
The guy with the ant was excited and called the bartender over and said "you see that ant?"
The bartender put his finger on the ant, twisted it and said "sorry sir it won't happen again."

[tomkow6]

CUBS 3

Reds 5 

 

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TODAY

MAY 6 @ 6:05 PM CST
 Radio: WGN 720

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CUBS 3

Reds 5 

 

NEXT GAME: 

TODAY

MAY 6 @ 6:05 PM CST
 Radio: WGN 720

  VS   

[Lady Jag]

 

Mental Release


A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released.

The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first.

"Tell me," said he, "if we release you, as we are considering doing, what do you intend to do with your life?'

The inmate said, "It would be wonderful to get back to real life and if I do, I will certainly refrain from making my former mistake. I was a nuclear physicist, you know, and it was the stress of my work in weapons research that helped put me here. If I am released, I shall confine myself to work in pure theory, where I trust the situation will be less difficult and stressful."

"Marvelous," said the head of the institution.

"Or else," ruminated the inmate. "I might teach. There is something to be said for spending one's life in bringing up a new generation of scientists."

"Absolutely," said the head.

"Then again, I might write. There is considerable need for books on science for the general public. Or I might even write a novel based on my experiences in this fine institution."

"An interesting possibility," said the head.

"And finally, if none of these things appeals to me, I can always continue to be a teakettle."