[tomkow6]

Today's FEEBLE

YOKE:

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness!"

"You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my!"

"WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!"

"Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?"

"Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What's wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

[Lady Jag]

Subject: The Darn Cat

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing.

As we was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat would always beat him home.

At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes," the wife answers.  "Why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answers "Put that damn cat on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions!"