You should see our bedtime ritual. Dogs are already in the bed when we get ready to go to bed, so hubby pushes the sleeping dogs aside so he can crawl into his spot. Then the female 75 lbs, who is the alpha, picks out her favorite spot (which is near my husband), then the male 90 lbs finds his spot (also as near to my husband as he can), and I get what’s leftover, LOL. Thank the Lord for king size beds.
Sounds like your dog practices the sport of bed wrestling:
The age old sport of bed wrestling has been practiced between dogs and humans for centuries. It is very subtle, slow-moving, and can take all night, so it isn’t much of a spectator sport. To the combatants, however, it is very intense.
It starts out with one or two humans placed lengthwise in a bed, with a dog curled up at the bottom near their feet. For a human to win, all he or she has to do is stay in the same spot until morning. This is not as easy as it seems.
For the dog to win, it takes cunning, persistence, patience and the agility of an eel. The dog has won the wrestling match when it has worked its way from the bottom of the bed to the top, with its head on the pillow and its body under the covers, stretched out to its utmost length-but crosswise in the bed. The dog must do this without actually waking the humans, who will have nightmares about being crushed, and will find themselves in the morning desperately clutching the edge of the mattress to keep from falling on the floor.
I had a cat once that practiced those same tactics. He
was a beautiful gray and black tabby who weighed 22 pounds
and he was not fat. He was long and tall and one of our
friends thought he was an ocelot. But he was prettier than
that, I thought.
It took me about five minutes to recover from paroxysms of laughter before I could reply to your post.
My problem is as bad as yours. In addition to the 72 lb. Weimaraner/Chocolate lab cross I mentioned, I have an 82 lb. Black Lab/Pit cross who was supposed to be a Daneador, but turned out to be a Pitador. The Pitador is even more determined than the Weimador to engage in nightly bed wrestling. Instead of approaching the head of the bed where I’d have some mechanical advantage, he prefers to use his leverage at the foot, gradually pushing my legs out of the bed.