I’m glad you got a good laugh. :-) I think it can get hurtful both ways. My personal feelings are simple, don’t limit yourself by deciding you are better off alone but also don’t be desperate seeking anybody to fill a void whether it is the one in your heart or your bed. Basic responsibility that is the way I see. Make decisions and be willing to accept the consequences and don’t set up conditions that are so limiting that you cut yourself off from experiences that you might find enjoyable though uncomfortable at first. I tried Surfing, first time I felt like I’d been beaten up and swallowed the pacific ocean.(I don’t even want to think what I swallowed) lol
I do agree it is better to be alone than being with someone that makes you unhappy. Marriage is tough as you already know but I’ve found it is a lot about finding ways to be happy and also make each other happy. Sometimes my wife and I don’t make each other happy but sometimes we do and we have a choice about whether we dwell on and magnify the unhappy times and our imperfections or whether we work as a team and comfort each other along the way and that is really nice. Life isn’t an amusement park but it can still be filled with periods of excitement, joy, and treasured memories and even more important shared hopes and dreams.
Computer time for me is largely work. (Just got off a call from India) It is also an outlet. It is nice being able to share discussions like this. It is hard to have this kind of discussion in the real world without someone getting emotional and pissed off but then again I’ve been known to speak my mind regardless. I like people who speak their mind. Well enough of that...now back to the important stuff.
Walmart or Kroger is where we usually end up they are close to the house. We have been going to Target more regularly though, that is where I usually buy my marked down computer games, though I hardly have time to play them anymore since I travel so much. Nice thing though is vacation is almost here and California is calling.:-)
I don’t think you ‘decide’ to be alone as much as you weigh the options, and it’s the most postive of them all. Or it simply happens and the alternative of being with someone doesn’t have greater appeal than what you have.
I’ve seen more bad marriages than good, and when I say bad, I mean CNN headline news, Country Song, trainwreck bad. So it was more a ‘oh dear, I’d like to be loved and love someone, but do I have to live with them!?!’ Than “MARRIED! WHOO HOO!” Ok, so I tried it and decided I was allergic.
I’ve known women who really were frantic when they weren’t married, believing it was a ‘had to do’, it’s what God expected or they were defective until they were married. And it was sad to watch. They didn’t marry for love but simply to marry because it was what you did-— get married, go to church, pay your taxes, have kids, buy groceries etc. It was more a non-choice than a choice.
That plus being around a grandmother who literally freaked out when the house was empty (no joke, we couldn’t go to the grocery store and leave her alone). I think something bad happened when she was younger (rape?) but anyhow, it made ‘fear of being alone’ sort of a sociopathy in my mind. And solitude was right up there with a trip to Disney.
All I’m saying is that different folks were meant to live different lives, not one better than another. Some were meant to not only be parents, but great parents (my brother and his wife). Others were meant to be doting, eccentric relatives to those kids (me :) )