I look forward to being a grandmother, but not for a few more years. My daughter (only child) starts graduate school in the fall. I hope she finishes before she has a family, but who knows?
Back to the topic. This has been an interesting thread. Najida I think I am very much like you. While I loved being a stay at home mom I remember sometimes feeling suffocated in those preschool years because I was never alone. Couple that with the fact my ex-husband is a huge extrovert who never met a stranger. His idea of misery was a quiet night at home. My idea of misery was a night away from home. It’s no wonder we are no longer together.
You and I are twins. As a kid, I would get out of the house and stay outside until well after dark (we were on a farm) because I couldn’t stand being inside with those people. I hated having roommates in college and I’ll never forget finally getting my own place to myself, only to have a friend announce “You’re alone! You need a roommate! And I need a place to live!” (I shoulda said no, but that was my doormat period).
Married (the second time) to a very extreme extrovert who would literally follow me into the bathroom to talk and would find excuses to come in while I was in the tub. His idea of fun was cuddling up and watching a movie (any movie). Mine was in reading a book, not touching anyone. He took my need for alone time as rejection and it quickly became “you’re having an affair” (my response was ‘one man is making my life miserable, how is another one going to help things?’)
I honestly don’t remember getting a full nights sleep during our entire marriage sleeping next to a snoring, restless, up 3 times a night to go to the bathroom sleeper meant high startle me woke up at least a dozen times a night. Not a good match for a b’zillion reasons, but this was a major turning point for me. I was not meant to be married. Even the basic things that others thrived with were pure misery to me.
So I do sympathize with those who feel pressured or bullied (like on these threads).
Never again. I’m happy with my life. Hobbits are people too. :)