Posted on 04/12/2008 5:13:34 PM PDT by chasio649
Great tag line!
Einstein had it right.
In my younger years,I wanted to party and mingle all the time.
Now,I am very content with my books and quiet conversations with friends.
After a while you realize that everyone has an agenda.They want to either control you,change you or take advantage of you in some kind of way.
I used to let them.But no more.
Candi Staton said it best back in 1976:
Who wants to spend this one and only life
Ending up just another lost and lonely wife
You count up the years,they will be filled with tears
Love only breaks up to start all over again
You’ll get the babies but you won’t have your man
While he’s busy loving every woman that he can
Young hearts run to yourself be true
Don’t be no fool when love really don’t love you
Young hearts run free
Don’t get hung up,hung up like my man and me.
I don’t think you ‘decide’ to be alone as much as you weigh the options, and it’s the most postive of them all. Or it simply happens and the alternative of being with someone doesn’t have greater appeal than what you have.
I’ve seen more bad marriages than good, and when I say bad, I mean CNN headline news, Country Song, trainwreck bad. So it was more a ‘oh dear, I’d like to be loved and love someone, but do I have to live with them!?!’ Than “MARRIED! WHOO HOO!” Ok, so I tried it and decided I was allergic.
I’ve known women who really were frantic when they weren’t married, believing it was a ‘had to do’, it’s what God expected or they were defective until they were married. And it was sad to watch. They didn’t marry for love but simply to marry because it was what you did-— get married, go to church, pay your taxes, have kids, buy groceries etc. It was more a non-choice than a choice.
That plus being around a grandmother who literally freaked out when the house was empty (no joke, we couldn’t go to the grocery store and leave her alone). I think something bad happened when she was younger (rape?) but anyhow, it made ‘fear of being alone’ sort of a sociopathy in my mind. And solitude was right up there with a trip to Disney.
All I’m saying is that different folks were meant to live different lives, not one better than another. Some were meant to not only be parents, but great parents (my brother and his wife). Others were meant to be doting, eccentric relatives to those kids (me :) )
Thank you!
Perfect!
Thank you.
There are still a few of us who haven’t bit hook,line and sinker into all the media-talk show happy couple or disaster hype.
I’ve been married twice. The first ended in divorce after 15 years. The second died from cancer after only a year and a half.
After over two years I’m getting married again in June to my editor. I’ve never been happier. I understand your viewpoint though. Life’s short, be happy mei mei. (chinese for little sister)
It must be true.
The population of England is dropping like a stone in the well.
For those who have happy marriages, it’s a joy to behold. Honestly, the more reason not to have horror of a marriage to taint the scope of thsoe that are good.
Blessings to you and your new spouse.
IOW these are SPINSTERS.
this is about packaging for prune juice at 30 set.
Mrs. stevio, is that you?
No darlin’ but do you have a brother ;)
Sorry, no.
I appreciate your perspective and I can certainly agree with your first statement but I still don’t believe being alone is a destination. It can be viewed as a weakness just as much as being needy. I do enjoy alone time and sometimes I just retreat like a bear within my cave but my cave also includes my family.
I do think it is revealing in that you have seen more “bad marriages” than good ones which is something I can not say. I’ve seen marriages that have had bad moments and survived, I’ve seen many good long marriages. I’ve also seen horrible marriages where the people should never have been bonded in the first place. There is a full spectrum and I believe the cynicism about marriage is undeserved.
My grandparents were marriage all of their lives. My parents are still married. Have they not had fights and difficulties? I have had as much in my marriage but a good marriage is as defined as what you work through together as what goes wrong. I don’t believe one has to be married to love some one, nor do I believe the modern concept of love automatically leading to sex which I find an unfortunate corruption of love. I do think it is clearly natural to desire a family and I don’t see that as weakness.
My Grandmother on my Dad’s side was a traditional Mom and Grandma and looking back on that I really appreciate that. She may have never learned to drive a car or lifted up a trumpet for women’s rights but she was there for me. We read comics together, did puzzles, made the beds, washed dishes, and picked strawberries together. I can still see her in her sun cap and always in a dress. I don’t believe all women should be that way but there is one thing that I am certain of is the world would be a much nicer place if more were indeed like her. When my Grandfather died she did live alone and she was very independent so much so that when she got an intestinal infection she didn’t bother to tell anyone and she died because it had progressed too far by the time she was taken to the hospital. She was 81 and she was surrounded by generations of Grand Children and their grand children. She did not die alone.
I’m sorry about your Grandmother. My wife’s Grandmother is like that but it is only because she loves her family even though it was a broken one. Sometimes being alone is indeed a pleasure but sometimes it is less so because in the quiet of my mind sometimes their is nothing more that I desire than to be with my family. Memories can cut like knives and sometimes the most joyful ones hurt the most. I was there when all my kids were born, I saw them first... I’ve watched them grow and being away from them is hard. I even miss my wife, imagine that. :-)
I can agree that different folks are meant to lead different lives and I’m sure you are indeed wonderfully eccentric. I had an uncle who never got married but he didn’t because he promised his mother he was still an excellent flirt. ;-) I’m glad you can see the other side in your brother and appreciate that. I’m also sure they appreciate you as I have appreciated our conversation.
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