Prayer Request for divorced mom

me | 4-3-08 | terriergal

[Terriergal]

prayer request (wonder if I should post this on FR) for my friend Brenda. She has five kids and is divorced. She is a Christian. Her ex pretended to be one, he is a spoiled brat pastor's kid. He abuses her verbally constantly, can't hold a job, steals money from their bank account (doesn't tell her where he spent it or how much or that he even DID spend it so they end up bouncing checks!). They are in serious debt with no real options for paying it off because of his behavior and inability to keep a job or even get a job. He's been through teen challenge and cheated his way through it. He doesn't pay child support, his parents must be paying his rent... he has had his license taken away for being a deadbeat dad. She on the other hand is working or trying to -- with FIVE kids. (ages 14 down to twins who are 2) and the county is not helping her enough. She wants to work at least a little, for a mental break from the kids, and because she enjoys blessing the folks in the nursing home (she is an activities director). She has been told now that because she got cash assistance that she didn't report (she though they had that info already) she owes back utilities now to the tune of $2300. She can't get by on the assistance they give if she doesn't work, and yet she gets punished financially if she works. It makes no sense. Jeff is no help and his parents won't talk to her, they don't even seem to care if she doesn't have diapers for the kids or suitable winter clothing. I bought them all coats and boots and gloves last fall.

She is constantly asking God if she is spending the money she DOES get wisely. She isn't a spendthrift but just doesn't have enough for five kids. The county doesn't seem to 'get' that.

I lived with her in Bible School. She is a peach. She grew up sexually abused, along with her siblings, by her pastor father, and is still the most loving, non bitter, forgiving and warm lady I know. Her only fault, being unable to judge a good man (probably due to her awful father's example).

I can't really help in a substantial way all by myself, but I try to help when I can. She needs something steadier though - and I just don't see how it will work. Just pray that the Lord will intervene in that situation and get her the assistance she needs. I go to the same church as Jeff's sister and brother in law. His brother in law has been good all along (he himself has been in jail before - and I think he authentically repented judging by his attitude now). But his sister has been for a long time like her parents even though she remembers being beaten up by him as a teen too and being genuinely scared of him.

[Terriergal]

frustrating... her doc filled out the paperwork for her slightly autistic twins (just turned 3) and instead of saying she could cut down her working hours, said she could work full time.

!?
She just can’t work full time!

If she does, all her state help disappears, and Jeff hasn’t paid child support for ... well he paid a total of three months last year. Hasn’t had a job since June last year. (claims he can’t find one because of his record, but I think he’s being too picky yet).

He has been calling her to ‘chit chat’ about the stuff going on in his life (!?) and then she calls me to laugh about the presposterous-ness of the thought.

He called to tell her her was trying to come up with $367 to file a petition to have his child support lowered. ?! She mentioned that the state has decided she owes about $1500-2000 in back utilities/rent because of their error. (because she took a miniscule amount of cash assistance and was told she didn’t have to report that — she thought they had that information).

So he says “Oh if I didn’t feel bad enough already that makes me feel even worse!” (can you believe the audacity/cluelessness of that statement? here’s the world’s smallest violin.

So anyway, I’m pretty sure he didn’t change his mind (after receiving that info) about trying to get his child support requirements lowered.

He’s been served a summons to show up and explain why he hasn’t paid any. In the meantime while they figure him out, Brenda still owes money and his parents are not helping her at all.

The twins had a Bday today (yesterday?) and the grandparents (grandpa is a pastor!!) didn’t send them a card. They sent it to Jeff’s apartment instead.