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Today's FEEBLE

YOKE:

A hillbilly went hunting one day in Oklahoma and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden that didn't like hillbillies.

The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid Oklahoma hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Oklahoma. This is a Kansas duck. You got a Kansas huntin' license, boy?"

The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Kansas hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said,"This ain't no Kansas duck. This duck's from Arkansas. You got a Arkansas license?"

The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced an Arkansas hunting license.

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said this ain't no Arkansas duck. This here duck's from South Carolina. You got a South Carolina huntin' license?"

Again the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina hunting license.
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The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the hillbilly "Just where the hell are you from?"

The hillbilly turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said,
"You tell me, your the expert."

FINAL

CUBS 9

Reds 5

NEXT GAME:

TONIGHT!

April 16 @ 7:05 PM CST
Radio: WGN 720

Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska.
They have a good hunt, and both manage to get a large moose.

When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals
and says, "This little plane won't lift all of us, the equipment, and
both of those animals - you'll have to leave one. We'd never make it over
the trees on the take off."

"That's baloney", says one of the hunters.

"Yeah," the other agrees, "you're just chicken...we came out here last
year and got two moose and that pilot had some guts. He wasn't afraid
to take off!"

"Yeah", said the first hunter, "and his plane wasn't any bigger than yours!"

The pilot got angry, and said, "Hell! If he did it, then I can do it! I
can fly as well as anybody!"

They loaded up, taxied at full throttle, and the plane almost made it,
but didn't have the lift to clear the trees at the end of the lake. It
clipped the tops of the trees, flipped, then broke up, scattering the
baggage, animal carcasses, and passengers all through the brush.

Still alive, but hurt and dazed, the pilot sat up, shook his head to clear
it, and said, "Where are we?"

One of the hunters rolled out from under a bush, looked around, and said
"I'd say...About a hundred yards further than last year."