If you have to hit your kid to make him mind, you’re a bad parent. It only means that you haven’t invested the time and love over the years to earn his respect and get him to stop when you say stop. Once you’ve reached that point, you may have no alternative but to use corporal punishment to change the situation, but it still means you screwed up in getting to that point to begin with. That’s been my experience, and, yes, I did have to spank my kids a couple times. But I think it was my fault for letting things get out of hand that I had no other choice. I should have done better.
I don’t agree with that completely. Even the best child who completely respects their parents will do things that are just not something that admonishment is appropriate. Children are children, even the best of them will do stupid things.. and when those stupid things put themselves or others at incredible risk needlessly a child must be disciplined in an appropriate way... and yes at that level spanking can be warranted.
Children are children, lack of respect or love is rarely the motivation for bad decisions or behavior. It certainly can be in some situations, but I know tons of children that love and are well loved and absolutely respect their parents who still do things they should not.
Kids are kids, they will, even the best of them, do things they should not.
What I have found about spanking though, that is in general, if you apply it early and consistently, you rarely have to do it as they get older. Yes there are some stronger willed kids who are sadly more likely to have thier hides tanned more that others, but generally, consistency in discpline and rules/expectations is more the key than anything else.
If you don't know the difference between "hitting" and "spanking" then it may be good that you don't do it.
Kids should not grow up learning that nomatter what they do, the punishment is the same.
That sounds like an opinion.
You might consider that the advent of your kind of thinking very closely tracks the decline of civility and academic achievement in our society as a whole.
Think there might be some correlation?
(I won't even get into what scripture has to say...)
If given a choice, both of my kids prefer to be spanked over any other punishment. As my daughter says, "A couple of stings, you learn your lesson and it's over. Grounding and restrictions just go on and on! It's torture! Half the time you forget why you were grounded anyway. You always remember why you got a spanking."
They're teenagers now and I think they got the right idea.
A year ago my daughter was 15 and had been a handful for about 6 months. I'd tried talking to her, teaching her, listening to her, trying to work with her, but the disrespect was getting completely out of hand. One night she got saucy with me for the last time. I jacked her against the wall and smacked the crap out of her. I then told her that I'd had it and that if she couldn't *feel* respect for me, she'd better hide it real well. I told her that this was *my* house and that she'd act like the well-behaved guest or face the consequences.
After that, not ONE problem. Not one. She started talking to me again, sharing problems and treating me with love.
I haven't had to tan her hide many times, but sometimes it really is the best solution. Spanking is *one* aspect of parenting, not the whole thing and certainly not the answer to every problem.