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Given up collecting gnomes?
Never.
Here’s why:
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You’ll feel a little tired and run down, today. Just a hunch, but that could explain those tire tracks on your shirt, as well...

I dunno what it is with these secretive government agencies and running down my lawn gnome. They practice in my yard all the time. Never ends. I’m out in the yard and hear “whop whop whop whop whop”.. Naturally I look at my shoes to make sure I didn’t step on anything before looking around.
A voice yells at me to ‘get down with my hands up’.
Complete nonsense, so I ask “what?!”
Finally I notice the huge helicopter hovering over my pool.
Guy must’ve been looking for somewhere to go fishing or something.
He was gesticulating wildly and waving his arms frantically.
I knew what was coming next, and sure enough, an urban assault vehicle comes tearing up into my yard and thumps down my lawn gnome.

Just like last week, I walked past a vehicle parked out in front of my house.
Guy inside it says, “He’s home.”
I ignored the ninjas jumping out my windows, they’re always ninjas jumping out my windows for some reason, and wandered up to my front door.
As I was unlocking the door, a pest control vehicle marked ‘S.W.A.T.’ drives across the grass and runs down my lawn gnome.
I barely had time to get the door open to escape those vicious psychotic lawn gnome murdering pest control guys.

And today, today my lawn gnome was run down by bicycle cops.
I’m gettin’ tired of burying my lawn gnomes.
They’re getting tired of it too and are now complaining.

The gnomes keep trolls at bay because trolls try to eat the gnomes.
So it’s a type of early warning system.
I hear the screaming and squealing of the gnome, and I run outside with old Bertha in time to see the troll standing in the yard with kicking gnome legs sticking out of his mouth.
A little quick application of rock salt and the troll is done.

As for the ninjas.
Dunno what they’re doing.
They don’t talk much, and they’re everywhere too.

I opened up the fridge, and a ninja was hiding in there.
He at least handed me what I was looking for before I closed the door again.
Dunno why he was in there, but I figured he had a reason to be in there.